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the manager

In the more than 30 years as Charalambos Viachoutsicos worked for and managed his family business he saw managers struggling to create employment engagement. Now an adjunct professor in the MBA program at Athens University of Economics and Business, he says the key is to ensure every interaction with a subordinate fosters a sense of mutual dependence, or what he calls "mutuality." In Harvard Business Review, he sets out six rules to follow for mutuality – and engagement:

Be modest

Many new managers are nervous about proving themselves, so their frail ego and fears lead them to discourage their employees from speaking up, losing the benefits of those employees' experience. He remembers sitting in on one management meeting where the words and manner of the manager conveyed the message: "Given that I know everything and you know nothing, here's what you should do." The manager mixed condescending detailed instructions with irrelevant stories of his own heroism. If you find yourself telling self-referential stories, Prof. Viachoutsicos suggests apologizing for blathering – you are just demonstrating your own insecurities.

Listen seriously – and show it

He believes that managers are generally getting better at listening, but their teams don't always recognize that – and won't share unless they are sure they are being listened to. In one case, Prof. Viachoutsicos was upbraided for taking notes on loose leaf sheets by an employee who felt if the boss truly cared he would have a bound notebook and that explained why the team's advice was not being followed. Only when he brought in the ringed binder and showed the detailed notes would the team accept their boss had listened but taken a different decision than they preferred. So make it clear you are listening.

Invite disagreement

Cultural norms within many companies beat back dissent. Managers have to invite dissent, thinking carefully about factors such as room and meeting dynamics (round tables may encourage discussion more than rectangular ones) and viewing every one-on-one interaction with an employee as a chance to tap their expertise and encourage them to express what they really think.

Focus on the agenda

When you have gigantic agendas in meetings ideas will get lost or never even come up because participants have to race through everything. Develop a sensible agenda, sequenced by importance of items, eliminating those that can be handled outside the meeting. The quality of discussion, and intensity of engagement, will heighten.

Don't try to have all the answers

Since problem solving is central to a manager's sense of self, he or she can feel inadequate when a solution proves temporarily elusive. In those situations, some managers rush to come up with answers that may be totally unrealistic. Better to admit ignorance, and see yourself as a catalyst for problem solving than as an elite problem solver.

Don't insist that a decision be made

Similarly, don't insist that quick decisions be made. The prevailing wisdom in business these days is that a flawed decision is better than no decision, but Prof. Viachoutsicos is dubious. When he was a young manager, he would earnestly supply a decision when his group couldn't come to an agreement, to show he was decisive. He realized he was making bad decisions and turning everyone off.

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