Excerpted from Meetings Matter: 8 Powerful Strategies for Remarkable Conversations by Paul Axtell. Copyright 2015 by Paul Axtell. Reprinted with permission of Jackson Creek Press.
Part of creating an effective group conversation is establishing broad participation. Most people have something to add–if you invite them to speak. Each person has a unique set of perspectives, experiences, and interests, but if they don't share them, you miss out on the value they could add. People get value from attending meetings and listening to the discussions, but they can't contribute if they don't speak.
Many people will not speak if you leave it completely up to them. But, if you don't get everyone included in the conversation, someone might leave feeling he or she had something to add, but no one was interested in hearing it.
One of the most valuable–and most absent–ways to change the pattern of not speaking is by calling on people and inviting them into the conversation. The key word is invite. It creates a perspective of inclusion and gentleness. When you think of inviting someone to speak, your tone of voice will reflect that your intention is to be inviting, not commanding. You're not putting people on the spot but inviting them into the conversation because you want to hear what they have to say. Inviting people speak provides a number of advantages. Doing so:
changes the dynamic of the group's normal process, adds new thinking and perspectives, improves everyone's experience of being in the group, changes how people listen and pay attention, indirectly trains others to speak more or speak less, demonstrates that the conversation is being deliberately managed, reduces the tendency to multitask, and increases alignment with group decisions.
Those who lead meetings choose not to call on people for a variety of reasons. Some argue it creates an environment that can feel unsafe or that it makes some people so uncomfortable they dread coming to your meetings. While this may be true for an isolated few, it's not for most.
If you say up front that you plan to manage the conversation by asking people to speak, you will find it easier to do so. Be sure to let people know that if they don't have anything to add, they can say so–you are simply inviting them to add to the conversation.
I am not talking about random, arbitrary, pull-someone's-name-out– of-the-hat calling on people. I am talking about thoughtfully and deliberately calling on individuals when the conversation would be enhanced by their contributions.
There are other reasons you might invite certain people into the conversation to add to the topic at hand. Maybe you have people with organizational history who can tell you something you should be aware of so you don't repeat mistakes made in the past. Maybe some veteran employees tend not to get into the conversation, but they would be good people to check with to see if they have anything to add.
Call on people to enrich the conversation, and only if you authentically want to hear their views on a topic. Never call on people to put them on the spot. For example, if you notice they are multitasking, do not call on them to get their attention. You always want people to feel good about being called upon to share their views. …
Why people don't speak. I always felt that if I did everything possible to make it easy for people to express themselves, they would participate. I was wrong. You cannot count on people speaking up in a meeting, and I can think of several reasons they don't:
Their personal conversational style is reflective and quiet.
Others jump in so quickly, they get left out.
The meetings tend to run over, so the sense of time gets in the way.
They have gentle, subtle ways of trying to get into the conversation that are easily overlooked.
They're uncomfortable because they don't know many people in the meeting or the group feels too large or the boss is there.
They had a bad previous experience related to speaking up. … It doesn't matter why people tend to be quiet. The point is, to have truly effective group conversations, you want to ensure that everyone who has something to say has the opportunity to be heard.
The surest way to do that is to call on people directly. Given the importance of meetings, it's time to get over the fear of putting people on the spot and simply invite them to speak.