These are stories Report on Business followed this week.
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It's not the explicit content that has caught the eye of Canada's broadcast regulator. It's the Canadian content.
The CRTC says AOV Adult Movie Channel, AOV XXX Action Clips and AOV Maleflixxx may have breached their 35-per-cent Canadian content requirement, as well as that for 90-per-cent closed captioning.
So I scanned the online offerings to see whether some movies could somehow pass the Canadian-content test with a little tweaking ( though I did change the name of one film).
Here's how the AOV channels could spin it for the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission at the April hearings for licence renewals and ownership changes:
1. Total Domination should be billed as a documentary on the Harper government.
2. Awesome Assets could be a weekly money show on Canada's mutual fund industry, which just hit the $1-trillion mark.
3. Dirty Weekend. A musical special, featuring Neil Young singing about the oil sands and Fort McMurray.
4. Immoral Proposal. A hidden-camera news exposé wherein Mike Duffy is seen to ask: "Hey, Nigel, can I borrow $90,000?"
5. The Stranger Beside Me. A similar hidden-camera news special wherein the prime minister, speaking about the aforementioned Nigel, says: "Nigel who?"
6. For that matter, Dirty Little Secrets could document the entire Senate scandal.
7. As could Intimate Encounters. Or just change Behind the Green Door to In the Red Chamber.
8. It's Huge should be billed as a film about the Keystone XL pipeline.
9. My girlfriend likes to watch. A documentary on Maxime Bernier, and where he left his briefing notes.
10. The Exhibitionist: Starring Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.
11. The Hottest Show in Town, a sitcom based in Toronto. At City Hall.
12. Foot Service. An annual special on Jim Flaherty's new budget shoes (and the difference between triple-X and triple-A).
13. In Pursuit of Pleasure. A reality show where contestants compete for the chance to be CEO of a Canadian bank.
14. Rookie Swingers. Just broadcast a season of the Toronto Blue Jays.
15. A sequel to Threesomes, a retrospective on the 20th anniversary of NAFTA.
16. Gold Diggers. Two choices here: A documentary on Barrick or a docudrama on its executive pay.
17. The Perfect Partner could be more Canadian, but only if Chrysler can get its way with the government.
18. Just Visiting may indeed end up as a flick about Target if it can't make ends meet in Canada.
19. I (Heart) a Man in Uniform. There's got to be a movie in the squabble over new fighter jets.
20. House Sitter. Just add a subtitle about Vancouver's real estate market.
21. Swedish Amateurs. Change the name to Swedish Pros and say it's about the Vancouver Canucks.
- Kate Taylor: CRTC's porn channel move highlights serious questions about broadcasting rules
- Video: Kate Taylor and Simon Houpt on the debate around Canadian content, the CRTC and porn
Thoughts from the week
"Exports have been a little stronger than previously thought but continue to underperform, and overall business investment has yet to pick up. Meanwhile, recent data support the bank's expectation of a soft landing in the housing market and stabilizing debt-to-income ratios for households." Bank of Canada
"I think as women we all need our tribe, people we can call and [receive] support from. As leaders we all share that responsibility to help start that and spark that." Julie Barker-Merz, chief operating officer, BMO Insurance
"In a nutshell, even if the situation in Ukraine calms, as the market seems to be fully expecting, the end result of this episode can't be positive." Douglas Porter, Bank of Montreal chief economist
"I don't want politicians to screw around with the capital expenditure program. This is not their business. I am not here to try to satisfy people's egos or politicians' ambitions. I make cars, as simple as that." Sergio Marchionne, chief of both Fiat and Chrysler
"Looking ahead, the ongoing recovery is expected to proceed, albeit at a slow pace. In particular, some further improvement in domestic demand should materialize, supported by the accommodative monetary policy stance, improving financing conditions and the progress made in fiscal consolidation and structural reform." European Central Bank president Mario Draghi
The week's top news
- Greg Keenan: Magna posts record revenue, hikes dividend
- Adrian Morrow, Greg Keenan and Steven Chase: Governments' query pushed Chrysler away
- Tim Kiladze: As profits soar, Canada's banks set sights on acquisitions
- Jeffrey Jones: Western Canada gets an oil outlet as NEB allows Enbridge pipeline reversal
- Barrie McKenna, Steven Chase and Greg Keenan: Ottawa nears South Korea trade pact
- Kelly Cryderman: Alberta's budget set to boost capital debt, to fiscal hawks' chagrin
- Tavia Grant: Canada sheds 7,000 jobs in February, unemployment stuck at 7%
The week's must-reads
- Eric Atkins: Grain backlog leaves farmers in cash pinch
- Tim Kiladze and Tara Perkins: Banks show restraint on mortgage rates one year after Flaherty's warning
- Eric Reguly: Russia's Putin holds a pipeline trump card over struggling Ukraine
- Iain Marlow: Vancouver reboots into video game developer central
- Rob Carrick: Can you really afford that mortgage? Know your Real Life Ratio
- Marina Strauss: Canadian grocery suppliers strike back against heavy discounting
The week in Business Briefing
- Pimco downbeat on Canada's housing market
- Seven reasons why the Canadian dollar may be bottoming out
- Looser privacy rules may see mass surveillance, discrimination: Officials
- Ranks of mega-wealthy to surge as Toronto leads way (Sorry, Vancouver)
- Air Canada eyes possible fee, fare hikes as currency bites: 'No free lunch'
The week in Streetwise (for subscribers)
- Jacqueline Nelson: IPO boom may be coming, but has U.S. lost its edge?
- Rachelle Younglai: Ned Goodman on commodities, QE and Barrick's copper mine
- Tim Kiladze: Canadian banks armed with ample capital for acquisitions
- Boyd Erman: The man all Canadian tech startups need to know
- Rachelle Younglai: Chaparral Gold says it controls enough shares to block hostile bid
The week in Economy Lab
- Clément Gignac: Why foreigners have lost their taste for Canada's bonds
- Christopher Ragan: A Canadian 'growth agenda': Nice sentiment, complicated reality
- Glen Hodgson: Why Canada's economy is lagging the U.S.
- Sam Boshra: Finance's version of job vacancy rate is measuring the wrong thing
- Brian Lee Crowley: Auto subsidy debate ignores the real problem: Ontario's economy
The week in ROB Insight (for subscribers)
- Carl Mortished: U.S. energy has the most to gain from Ukraine crisis
- David Parkinson: Tallying Quebec's self-inflicted mining wounds
- Brian Milner: Oil price key to curbing Putin's ambitions
- Jeffrey Jones: The slick strategy of the reusable pipeline
- Scott Barlow: The stark choice facing Canada's economic gatekeepers
Michael Babad