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Tunisia's Ons Jabeur holds up her hands to show that she avoided touching the net after making a return against Germany's Tatjana Maria at Wimbledon, in London, England, on July 7.Kirsty Wigglesworth/The Associated Press

The biggest upset in London over these past two weeks happened Thursday morning an hour before play at Wimbledon began.

In the press room, the usual green background of the tournament call signal was replaced on TVs by BBC News. No one relishes the storytelling possibilities of a humiliating defeat better than a sports journalist. This was a chance to enjoy at some proximity one of the great comeuppances of the 21st century.

If you were judging him as you would a sports executive who’d had to be chased around and black bagged before accepting the inevitable, you would at least give Boris Johnson points for cheek.

“The reason I have fought so hard in the last few days … [was] because I felt it was my job, my duty, my obligation to you to continue to do what we promised in [the] 2019 [election],” Johnson said in his resignation speech.

That’s some line coming from someone this mendacious.

“Herd instinct is powerful,” Johnson said. “When the herd moves, it moves.”

That’s an even better line because that one is actually true. It isn’t the failure of character that finishes you off. It’s the sense that you won’t be producing any more titles.

Had he chosen sports instead of politics, Johnson’s brand of buffoonery, hubris and cunning, mixed together in a stew of ambition, would have been a net positive. Sports fans love a successful doofus, especially one who keeps stepping on rakes. But the key word is ‘successful.’ In either business, once you start losing, you’re done.

Like a lot of over-the-hill pros, Johnson still can’t bring himself to cut the tether. He wants to stay on as prime minister until a new Conservative party leader can be chosen. Yes, fired club presidents sometimes try the same thing. It never works out.

“This isn’t running a championship football club,” revolting Tory MP Steve Brine said. “This is running the government of the UK.”

Is there really much difference? You claw your way to the top job over the broken bodies of your enemies. You’re given a new bunch of future enemies to manage. Either way, wins are stacked up on your behalf or you end up going out the door headfirst.

The only thing you have any real control over is how much dignity you can maintain as you’re flying through the air. As per the usual, there wasn’t much of that to be found here.

If Johnson has failed as a politician, he is at least a great forecaster of trends. He got into the game in a big way just as politics was becoming the new sport. Which is to say, the thing that allows people to pick a side and hate their neighbours without (apparent) consequence.

It’s soothing to see that things are going as badly over here as they are closer to home. At least we’re not the only ones living next to a basketcase.

Britain firing its manager was done and dusted by 1 p.m. local time. After that much excitement in the lead-in, the tennis really didn’t have a chance.

On the other end of the moral spectrum from just about anything going on in politics, there was Ons Jabeur vs. Tatjana Maria in the first women’s semi.

Jabeur may be the most likeable person in the sport right now. If Maria isn’t up there with her, it’s only because until about three days ago, no one had heard of her.

Jabeur, from Tunisia, was hoping to become the first African woman to reach the final of a Grand Slam in the Open era. Maria is the first mother of two to get this far at Wimbledon in a half-century.

If that’s not enough feel-good twinkle for you, the pair are best of friends. Maria, from Germany, told her country’s press that her kids call Jabeur “Aunt Ons.”

“It’s going to be a great match between us, a lot of respect, for sure,” Jabeur said beforehand.

And there sure was. Sadly, mutual respect does not always equal great entertainment.

Both players worked in funereal silence, possibly for fear of showing up the other. Maria has been overmatched this entire tournament, but this was the first time she looked it. At least, it was that way until Jabeur seized up in the second set, allowing her pal back into the match.

It was risk-free, error-prone tennis. All rallies were punctuated by a lot of slicing, which tends to make the game seem as though it’s being played in slow-motion.

It’s been cool throughout these two weeks, but it started getting hot here on Thursday afternoon. You could feel spirits flagging.

But having done her friend a little solid, Jabeur dropped the hammer in the third set. She won 6-2, 3-6, 6-1.

The follow-up was little better. This tournament was shaping up to be former champion Simona Halep’s return to glory. Then the Romanian hit a wall named Elena Rybakina.

One of the people who should feel good about Rybakina’s path into the final is Canada’s Bianca Andreescu. She lost to the Kazakh in the second round, while looking nearly her equal. Halep looked like her kid sister and went down hard, 6-3, 6-3.

The people who won’t feel so good about it are the All England Club’s realpolitik members who pushed to ban Russians from this tournament. Rybakina was born and raised in Russia, but switched national allegiances as a teenager.

Someone asked her afterward if she still “feels” Russian.

“What does it mean for you to feel?” Rybakina said.

Well that’s that question settled. Because that’s as Russian a line as anything written by Dostoevsky.

One is left hoping that in terms of entertainment value, the women’s final is twice the fun of the two women’s semis. At least.

But you never do know what you’ll get here. Some days the sport is better than others. And some days, the best sport isn’t sport.

If Wimbledon 2022 was going to have an off day, it was thoughtful of Britain’s parliament to provide some alternative entertainment for visitors to this country.