Dull Cars 2: Even more boring than before
Peter Cheney loves cars. But these are the cars that nobody could love
Toyota Corolla Judge: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the Corolla stands accused of First-Degree Dullness, Styling Negligence, and Mediocrity With Intent to Bore?. How find you?" Jury Foreman: "You Honour, we find the accused guilty on all charges." Judge: "Ms. Corolla, you have been found guilty by a jury of your peers. Sentencing will take place after I have reviewed victim impact statements by those you have numbed."
Oldsmobile Alero Like the guy who sat three rows away from you in kindergarten, the Alero disappears from memory. In the case of the Alero, this is a good thing. There is actually a club for owners who like to customize Aleros: www.Aleromod.com. The most users that have ever been online at once: 91.
Chevrolet Citation It has been noted that the Citation's name is a synonym for a traffic ticket. That single detail is more interesting than the car.
Toyota Prius notchback The Prius was never intended as an exciting car, but the parabolic roofline of the original design did make it stand out. Then someone at Toyota decided to make a notchback version that would appeal to drivers with traditional tastes. In design terms, this was the equivalent of giving Pamela Anderson a breast reduction: a defining feature was gone, exposing the sheer dullness beneath.
Mercury Tracer The late 90s were a dark age for Detroit, defined by impending economic collapse, mail-it-in engineering, and styling that was executed by committees of middle-aged white men whose tastes ran to leisure seats and bowling. Like a bad wine that had been cut with water, the Tracer combined all these flavour notes while avoiding any hint of excitement. In other words, dull.
Pontiac Sunbird Thinking about the Sunbird left me feeling like I'd been drugged. My fingers slowed on the keyboard, then stopped. After I regained consciousness, I went to Synonyms.com and chose the following synonyms for "dull": "Bovine, drab, dreary, humdrum, monotonous, lacklustre, lusterless, colourless, spiritless, unanimated, boring, deadening, tedious, tiresome, wearisome, uninteresting" There were plenty more, but a picture is worth a thousand words.