A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week
Rogers Communications
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Ways to fight back against soaring cable and cellphone bills: 1) Throw away your TV and rediscover the thrill of a good radio drama; 2) Keep in touch with friends using smoke signals; 3) Buy Rogers stock. The shares surged on reports that Rogers is buying fibre-optic provider Atria Networks and is also testing 4G wireless technology. |
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Abercrombie & Fitch
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Want a shapely rear end? Try on a pair of "perfect butt sweatpants" from Abercrombie & Fitch . Want a shapely investment portfolio? Try A&F's stock. Shares of the retailer famous for its half-naked models surged after same-store sales leaped 13 per cent in September, lifted by a strong back-to-school season. Hey, nice assets. |
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U.S. Non-Farm Payrolls
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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Anita" "Anita who?" "Anita job." |
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Sara Lee
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Business quiz! Name the product Sara Lee doesn't make: 1) Jimmy Dean sausage; 2) Kiwi shoe polish; 3) Senseo coffee makers; 4) President's Choice frozen fish eyes. Answer: 4. With its global brands, strong free cash flow and low debt, Sara Lee has received overtures from buyout firms such as KKR and Apollo, reports say. |
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Air Canada
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Good news: Air Canada's stock hit a two-year high after September traffic rose 12 per cent from a year earlier. Bad news: If you'd bought the stock at its initial offering price of $21 in 2006, you'd still be down about 85 per cent. Repeat after me: I will never buy an airline stock again. |
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