All photos by @captionperson
Were you shocked and saddened this week by the news that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin were ending their 10-year marriage? Allow us to soothe your gentle heart with the usual roundup of celebrity happenings.Colin Young-Wolff
Starting with these guys: a bunch of actors hired by a Hollywood studio to scurry around the streets of New York to promote the DVD release of The Wolf of Wall Street.Diane Bondareff
Get it? They’re wolves! On Wall Street! Wolves on Wall Street!Diane Bondareff
Elsewhere in New York, ex-muscleman-turned-actor-turned-politician-turned-actor Arnold Schwarzenegger showed up at the premiere of his new movie Sabotage, in which he plays a senior DEA agent with an inexplicable Austrian accent.Evan Agostini
Also at the premiere was Arnold’s co-star Joe Manganiello, known primarily for his portrayal of a werewolf on True Blood.Evan Agostini
Together, they’re … two bulky bad actors in ill-fitting suits!Evan Agostini
Meanwhile, somewhere in Tennessee, TV judge Joe Brown was arrested and charged with five counts of contempt of court for causing an outburst in a real courtroom. Here’s Joe’s mugshot. Hmm, is that irony or cubism?The Associated Press
And here’s David Hasselhoff at a car-racing event in Madrid, still squeezing celebrity mileage out of his lifeguard role on Baywatch, 14 years after the show ended. That’s definitely irony.Abraham Caro Marin/The Associated Press
Back in the U.S.A., actress-turned-earth-mother Angelina Jolie made a surprise appearance at the CinemaCon 2014 event in Las Vegas, just to let everyone know she’s available for spokesmodel work. You thought maybe Brad Pitt’s Moneyball residuals were feeding all those kids?Chris Pizzello
Also at CinemaCon was the brutish actor Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, who gleefully spotted the guy who picked on him in seventh grade in the audience.Chris Pizzello
And then there was Mark Wahlberg, who was supposed to be promoting Transformers: Age of Extinction at CinemaCon but immediately went off script to regale the crowd with stories about his bad-boy days back in Bah-stin. That’s how people from Boston say it.Chris Pizzello
Nobody was really sure why Mad Men star Jon Hamm was at CinemaCon, but he agreed to leave quietly after somebody gave him a fake Emmy.Chris Pizzello
In other CinemaCon news, that fine Canadian actor Will Arnett appeared to hype his dreadful sitcom The Millers and steal a Segway scooter.Chris Pizzello
While fellow Canuck Seth Rogen showed up at CinemaCon for the all-you-can-eat buffet.Chris Pizzello
Cut to Washington, D.C., for the launch party of Turn, a period-piece drama set in 1770s America. Series star Daniel Henshall seems convinced he’s going to be AMC’s next big discovery. With that beard, he’s got a better shot at Duck Dynasty.Paul Morigi
Turn star Heather Lind holds the same actorly aspirations, but with decidedly less facial hair.Paul Morigi
Also in Turn is former Billy Elliot star Jamie Bell. He does not dance in Turn.Paul Morigi
And here we find Turn cast member JJ Feild, who really does spell his name like that.Paul Morigi
Also on hand was Scottish actor Angus MacFadyen, still sporting his Braveheart beard and probably the biggest name in Turn – which could be a problem since U.S. viewers demand familiar faces. Isn't there anybody out there capable of bringing real star power to a rookie TV series?Paul Morigi
Says the Hoff: “If it helps, I still have the Speedo.”Abraham Caro Marin/The Associated Press