All captions by @captionperson
Who says there are no real movie stars in Hollywood today? Because it’s true. Here’s sixtysomething Kevin Costner, with trophy wife Christine at the premiere of his new movie Draft Day in Los Angeles. Dude, we can take the bronzer and hair transplants, but even when white pants were in they weren't inMARIO ANZUONI/Reuters
No less unstylish was Costner’s Draft Day co-star Terry Crews and wife Rebecca, who simply must stop buying their clothes on the Home Shopping NetworkJohn Shearer
Also in Draft Day: Oscar-winner Ellen Burstyn, who, judging by this getup, was either seriously inspired or deeply damaged by those bedroom scenes in The ExorcistMatt Sayles
Jennifer Garner looked pretty fine for a mother of three, but completely spoiled the effect by posing with Eeyore on the Draft Day red carpetJohn Shearer
And of all people, it took Mike Tyson to show everyone how you dress up for a Hollywood movie premiere: Wearing a camouflage T-shirt and blazer accessorized by a Maori warrior face tattoo. Thanks, Iron Mike!MARIO ANZUONI/Reuters
Let’s hop across the pond to London, where Andrew Garfield could be found shamelessly shilling his new action movie The Amazing Spider-Man 2. Uh, what were we saying about no real movie stars today?Joel Ryan
To his credit, Garfield wooed the U.K. press and happily posed for pictures with his Spider-Man co-star Emma Stone.Joel Ryan
And then everything got a little creepy when Jamie Foxx offered to demonstrate something called a ‘love sandwich’Joel Ryan
And now on to Los Angeles, where former Seinfeld star Jason Alexander obligingly endured the one-millionth bald joke of his career at the opening night of the Indian Film FestivalMARIO ANZUONI/Reuters
Also at the Indian Film Festival were brother-sister act David Arquette and Rosanna Arquette, this generation’s version of Peter and Jane Fonda, except the former actually acted in movies.MARIO ANZUONI/Reuters
Meanwhile in Munich, Cameron Diaz wore a shimmery gold mini-dress to the premiere of The Other Woman, just in case any Aztecs were in attendanceMICHAELA REHLE/Reuters
And did Cameron pose and pretend to like her Other Woman co-stars Leslie Mann and Kate Upton? Hey, when in Germany...MICHAELA REHLE/Reuters
And to curry favour with the locals, Ms. Diaz even belted out a few bars from Wagner’s operatic cycle Der Ring des Niebelungen.MICHAELA REHLE/Reuters
In random celebrity happenings, actress Jamie Lynn Sigler earned a few bucks in between Sopranos residuals by pushing a farm-themed video game in New York. Paulie Walnuts would not approveEvan Agostini
In Beverly Hills, David Hasselhoff hosted an event to launch his new brand of enormous David Hasselhoff bobbleheadsLUCY NICHOLSON/Reuters
In New York, Kristen Wiig wore an outfit that seemed more fitting for the addle-minded character she played in Anchorman 2Andy Kropa
And elsewhere in the Big Apple, Winona Ryder made a rare appearance at a movie screening to pose against a big grass wall and test her newfound hypnotic abilities that enable her to take whatever item she wants from a store without paying for itEvan Agostini
Can you feel your will slowly being sapped from you? Are you ready to surrender to the numbing power of Ryder-Vision?Evan Agostini
Watch out, Johnny Depp. … She’s coming for you!Evan Agostini