Sean Cullen says you have to treat being on the road like a job.
As part of the Toronto Sketch Comedy Festival, the comedian (and former member of the comedy-music trio Corky and the Juice Pigs) Sean Cullen joins other musicians and comics for Hello! Thunder Bay!, an evening of songs, stories and jokes about life on the road in Canada. We spoke to him this week.
We hear a lot about musicians and the wild lifestyle on the road, but the stories we hear about comedians often involve loneliness. Is that a cliché, the morose comedian and a hotel minibar?
There's a kind of weird thing about comics. They're loners who want appreciation from people they don't know. On the road, when you're younger, you want to go out a lot. When you're in a band, you have people who are automatically with you. It's an automatic crowd to run with. With comics, hopefully you're touring with a couple of people you enjoy. But I don't know. I'm the kind of guy who loves going back to the hotel room.
And throwing a television out the window?
You know, if there's a bunch of you partying and somebody throws a TV out of a window, it's kind of like, "That was cool, buddy." But when you're alone and you throw your TV out of a window, you're just kind of a jerk. Kind of a weird vandal.
A weird vandal who now can't watch The Tonight Show.
And also, as a comedian, you don't make enough money to trash that TV. There's not a record company to pick up that tab. That's the life of a comic. You're always culpable for everything you do wrong.
Is there anything unique about touring Canada, as opposed to other countries?
There's a lot of driving. The towns are often few and far between. I remember a road trip with the Juice Pigs, and I was the only one who could drive. We had a show in Ottawa, and then in two days we had a show in Winnipeg. I think it was a 34-hour drive. It's the worst, and with comedy usually every tour takes place in the winter, when people in Canada are indoors willing to watch shows. I remember once driving, driving, driving. Finally I got a rest, and I started hallucinating that there were dead deer all over the road. People thought I was insane.
You're not making it sound too attractive.
Well, the great thing about it is that you get to know the country, and can see people in their natural habitats. It gives you an appreciation for the country. This country is enormous, and yet it's a cohesive unit. Or a dysfunctional family. But it's still together.
So, with the ups and the downs and the highs and the lows, how do you keep it together on the road?
You keep an even keel and treat it like a job. And it is a job. You have to get up in the morning and do radio interviews and promote the shows. That's the stuff you get paid for. The performing is what you do for free.
Sean Cullen plays the Apollo Cinema, March 5, at the Kitchener-Waterloo Comedy Festival; On March 7 (8 p.m., $39), he takes part in Hello! Thunder Bay at the Randolph Theatre, 736 Bathurst St., torontosketchfest.com.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
Brad Wheeler