Candice Ziolkowski looks down at the silver cross she received after her spouse, Master Corporal Chris Stannix, died while fighting in Afghanistan. She was part of a group which visited Kandahar Airfield on Oct. 4, 2009 for a special ceremony to honour the Canadian soldiers.Bill Graveland/The Canadian Press
The letters were written to sons and husbands who will not receive them, men who died in this hot and dusty country half a world away from the Canadian towns and cities they called home.
One by one, on Sunday afternoon, family members stuck them to the faces of the fallen that are engraved in marble at the cenotaph in the Kandahar Air Field.
"We could write anything we wanted. A letter of good-bye, a letter of healing, a letter to say come home, or I love you, or hello," said Candice Ziolkowski, the spouse of Master Corporal Christopher Stannix who was killed by a roadside bomb in April 2007.
Ms. Ziolkowski of Halifax is also a member of the Canadian Forces.
"Chris never really wanted me to come over here because he never wanted me to go through the hardships he did," she said. "And I wrote 'You told me not to come. And now I am here because I am here to take you home.'"
Charmaine Tedford of Petawawa, Ont., whose husband, Sergeant Darcy Scott Tedford was killed during an ambush in October 2006, came for the same reason.
"I think part of their spirit was left here," said Ms. Tedford. The families, came "just to pick it up and bring it back home with us."
Ms. Tedford, who had to assure her daughters, ages eight and nearly 10, that she would return to them, said she felt a sense of well-being as she sat in front of the cenotaph.
"Our soldiers came over here to try to bring some semblance of peace and, when you sit in front of that monument, it is incredibly peaceful. And in some way they have accomplished that," she said. "In this war-torn country with the jets flying overhead and the helicopters going and all the chaos that is Afghanistan, right there is peace."
Close relatives of soldiers killed in action are invited a couple times each year to see the country where their loved ones died, to get a feel for the mission, and to share their loss with members of the forces and other Canadians who know what it is like to get the knock at the door.
After touring the Kandahar Air Field, they attended a memorial in the shady, gravel-covered walkway in front of the cenotaph.
Brigadier-General Jonathan Vance, the head of the NATO mission in Kandahar, told the families that he knows the experience of attending such a service in a country as far removed from Canada as Afghanistan must seem a little bizarre. "There are days that it all seems a little bit bizarre to me too."
But "never forget that your loved one's life was not in vain," said the general, pausing to collect his emotions. The children of Afghanistan need champions "and your loved ones died trying to do something that is right."
Joining the families of MasterCpl Stannix and Sgt. Telford, were relatives of Corporal James Hayward Arnal who was killed in July 2008, Sergeant Scott Shipway and Corporal Mike Seggie who were killed in September 2008, and Corporal Nathan Hornburg who died in August 2007.
Mothers put their fingers to their lips and then placed them on the engraving of their son as they attached their letter to his likeness. Some wiped away quiet tears before returning to their seats to let the other family have their moment.
When the ceremony was over, the letters were returned to those who wrote them so they would forever remain private.
Linda Loree and Michael Hornburg of Calgary, the parents of Cpl. Horburg, who was hit by a mortar blast while trying to repair the tread on a Leopard tank, said they both support the mission that claimed their son.
"I wasn't absolutely sure why I wanted to come," said Ms. Loree. "What has come from it has exceeded anything that I might have imagined. I think about Afghanistan every day and about the mission. I have learned so much that has given me hope that what has gone on will be carried on."
Mr. Hornburg has started a series of runs that take place on Father's Day, Cpl. Hornburg's birthday. The proceeds go to support soldiers and memorials for fallen troops.
"It has not been that long since we lost Nathan," said Mr. Horburg, "and yet he has opened doors that we would never have imagined possible. The people we have met, the places we have been. Nathan means gift. And even today, which is the exact second anniversary of his funeral, he has just given us another gift to be out here."