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Another chapter is unfolding this year for crime-thriller writer Robert Rotenberg, but it's not in one of his novels.

Instead, it's a new stage in the story of his life and his family's – this spring his 25-year-old son Peter moved out and landed a good career-track job.

"Peter is doing great and he loves his work – it's at a software firm – and he's really excited about it. But I don't think you ever stop supporting your kids in one way or another," says Mr. Rotenberg, author of several popular novels and also a well-known Toronto criminal lawyer.

"There's still a lot ahead for our family. Peter's brother is looking at grad schools, and our daughter is in high school and wants to be a doctor."

Parenting is a lifelong commitment but parents' financial commitments to their kids change over time. While parents never stop loving their kids and celebrating their milestones and successes as they grow up, is there a point where they no longer support them financially?

The cost of supporting older kids is a huge issue for baby boomers, who were born between the late 1940s and early 1960s, and who are now retiring in droves. The issue for boomers is whether to dip into their retirement savings and compromise their own lifestyles for their children.

"The latest data from Statistics Canada shows that 60 per cent of 20– to 24-year-olds and nearly a quarter of 25– to 29-year-olds still live with their parents," says David Boyd, vice-president, portfolio manager, BMO Nesbitt Burns in Windsor, Ont.

While culture and family relationships play a role in why kids are relying on their parents longer, "economic reasons would be the main ones," he says.

"Parents are now prepared to make many financial sacrifices for their adult children," says a December 2015 report by the BMO Wealth Institute called The Family Bank a source of comfort for everyone.

The report found that 50 per cent of the Canadians surveyed say they will delay retirement and work longer to help their kids, 33 per cent will save less for their own retirement and 32 per cent will help their adult children, despite knowing that it will result in a less– comfortable retirement for themselves.

"Rather than the family bank, I call it the family business. When working with their children, individuals should understand that if they do seek to help them financially, they need to make sure that their own future isn't in harm's way to fund their children's lifestyle," Mr. Boyd says.

"Otherwise, they may be putting themselves in a tricky situation, where they'll be depending on the children they helped fund to take care of them in their senior years."

There are many ways parents may feel the need to help financially support their kids – weddings, advanced education, help with down payments on a home. "The best way to manage the possibilities is to come up with a sound financial plan," says Mr. Boyd.

"It's not something you just do on a Sunday night when you're driving back with the kids from the country," he says. "You should actually lay it out, say to your kids: 'This is what we're looking at, and here is the funding that your mom and dad are able to help you with. Let's figure out what that means for you and the future.'"

Planning for the future of one's whole family is something that can't begin soon enough, Mr. Boyd says.

"While you wouldn't have a financial conversation with an infant, you can make decisions that will make a substantial difference down the road.

These decisions can range from setting up a registered education savings plan (RESP) to simply "making a subtle shift in your own saving pattern."

As kids become adults, it's wise to keep the conversation about money open and transparent. That way, children's expectations will remain realistic about how parents can and will support them, and what would be over the line.

Any financial planning for families supporting their older kids should include a "What if?" scenario for unforeseen circumstances, such as an illness or job loss, Mr. Boyd says. "You should build this in so the parents are insulated."

As to when financial support ends, that remains an open question. The BMO Wealth Institute report notes that only 3 per cent of parents with children over the age of 18 think their kids become adults when they move out, while 55 per cent believe adulthood comes with "accepting responsibility for yourself."

If there's one thing that characterizes modern families today, it's that the need to help each other reaches across generations. Parents of millennial kids know it's tough for the younger generation to find the jobs they need, and often they need family help, and of course parents want their children to succeed.

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