Christmas gift.Massonstock/Getty Images/iStockphoto
Dear Corporate Governess
My manager expects our HR team to be thrilled about working here, but to me it's just a job—although one that I'm grateful to have. My last evaluation suggested that I need to smile more. I'm not into faking it.
—Sam B., Toronto
Dear Sam
Your question reminds me of a waiter I encountered in Paris who sneered openly at my wine choice and never cracked a smile throughout his service. When I complained to the manager (in my fractured French), he replied (in perfect English), "Why do you Americans expect everyone to be happy? He is doing his job."
I didn't bother to correct him because, as Canadians, we share the same bias. We expect employees to love what they do and, moreover, to unleash their enthusiasm at every opportunity. Any CEO today will tell you they're looking for "people who are passionate" about their work, whether the job is for an aerospace engineer or packaging candy on an assembly line. But while I concede a grudging admiration for the Parisian server's authenticity, he also made the dining experience unpleasant and tense. I suspect that's the case with your office interactions. Your team, and indeed the employees you serve, may be feeling your indifference (accurately) by the lack of expression on your face. So if this job is valuable to you, I'd dig a little deeper to find something in it that you genuinely like, if only the paycheque.
Dear Corporate Governess
I used to work at a big bank but I've just started at a smaller company. At my previous employer, there was no gift giving, but I've noticed that everyone here is very close. What should I do with Christmas coming up?
—Angelina D., Calgary
Dear Angelina
Going into a new workplace can feel like encountering the practices of a remote tribe. There are unspoken rules that everyone else seems to know. You don't want to get it wrong, yet you're afraid to ask. But that's exactly what you need to do. Gift-giving customs vary, particularly for bosses. What's the norm in one place may be seen as kissing up in another. It's easier if you already have a mentor who can fill you in. If not, invite someone out for coffee and ask the following: Do employees at your level give the boss a gift? What's considered appropriate? How about co-workers? Do you include everyone or just the people you hang out with? If there's a Santa exchange, do staff still give each other gifts?
A $20 limit, including for the boss, shows common sense, even if others are more extravagant. It's hard to go wrong with a book, gift card or delicious goodies, especially if you take note of individual taste. It's a small office, so don't blanket everyone with the same boxed truffles. Steer clear of gag gifts, which are often just embarrassing to the recipient. And yes, wrap a few extra items to keep in your desk, just in case. In no time, you'll be the queen bee of gifting.