In this product image released by Apple Inc., Monday, June 8, 2009, the new iPhone 3Gs is shown. (AP Photo/Apple Inc.) ** NO SALES ** photoillo by cinders mcleodThe Associated Press
You're at a party, chatting with your pals and enjoying the repartee.
Then it happens.
"What's the name of the new Coen brothers' movie, again?" someone asks.
Suddenly, the iPhones fly out, and the conversation grinds to an awkward halt while someone Googles the answer.
Say hello to the new conversation killer: smartphones.
With their instant Internet accessibility, seemingly endless software applications, and ability to play music and videos, smartphones are a technophile's delight. But the technology is also encountering something of a backlash, as people begin to implement bans and exert anti-smart phone peer pressure on users who commit social faux pas.
Vancouver resident Sean Tyson, 28, says he gets riled whenever anyone extinguishes a discussion by showing the latest popular YouTube clip on a smartphone.
"We're at a restaurant having drinks and you want to stop the conversation and show us something on a three-inch screen? It's like, 'No thanks. That's the lamest get-together,'" Mr. Tyson says, noting it's often tricky to pick up the conversation again once someone introduces a video.
Inevitably, he says, no one can resist playing just one clip.
"It becomes 'Oh cool, have you seen this?' And the next 30 minutes are spent one-upping each other with 'funny' YouTube videos."
To nip such offences in the bud, he and some of his friends have adopted an informal rule to set their phones aside, facedown, whenever they're gathered around a table.
If anyone is caught neglecting the group in favour of her phone, the culprit usually receives a few dirty looks or scowls, and howls of protest to put the device away.
Or, Mr. Tyson says, he and his friends fight fire with fire: "If we see one person on phone all time, we'll send that person a text to say 'stop texting.' It's kind of ironic that's the only way to get through to them."
During a recent gathering at a friend's Vancouver house, Regan Rankin, 31, came upon someone alone in a corner shaking his hand violently. It turns out he was using a fishing game application on his iPhone, using the phone as a motion-sensor rod.
"At first, I thought it was kind of funny, but then, it's kind of weird," she said. "It's socially isolating, really."
Ms. Rankin says she has also encountered entire groups of people, not talking to each other but simply texting, Internet surfing or playing games on their smartphones.
While Ms. Rankin feels uncomfortable telling friends or acquaintances to put their smartphones away in a social setting, she had no hesitation about putting up a "no iPhones" sign up at the high school where she works to remind fellow staff that it's unacceptable to use them during work hours.
Workplaces are, in fact, where some of the clearest boundaries on smartphone usage are being set.
Linda Allan, a Toronto-based certified management consultant who specializes in business etiquette, says companies are increasingly seeking her help to write guidelines about the use of smartphones into their codes of conduct, such as eliminating their use for personal activities at the office.
Ms. Allan says it's perfectly appropriate to politely speak up if someone's smartphone use is being disruptive. "It's a case where you have to tell people because many people just don't get it."
The protocol is the same in business and social scenarios, she says:
"There are really very few times when you're in a face to face meeting where you should take your attention off the person in order to click in something on a device."
Mr. Tyson's friend Martin Utley, 23, learned the hard way that his new iPhone was interfering with his time spent with friends.
"When I first got it, I was always showing it off to people and I think they got annoyed," he says, noting they would sometimes tease him.
But at a time when technology seems to be advancing faster than people's notions of etiquette around it, he says, it can be difficult to determine what is socially acceptable or not.
Mr. Utley says although he's still fascinated by his iPhone, he's learning to use it more selectively and making an effort to be more engaged in what's going on around him.
"At first, it's like any honeymoon period with a new device. You think of all the endless possibilities … but that starts to wear away when you realize that, well, I've got enough going on already."
Special to The Globe and Mail