Juan F. Thompson on his memoir of growing up gonzo

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Hunter S. Thompson was a terrifying father, his family life was volatile and he killed himself with a gun to the head while his grown son was in the next room, but a memoir from Juan F. Thompson is not Mommie Dearest, or even Daddy Weirdest.

We spoke to Thompson about Stories I Tell Myself, a touching, thoughtful tale of growing up gonzo and living to tell of the experience.

You just had a book published, but would you be offended if I said that you're not the writer your father was?

I would be glad to hear that. [Laughs.] It wasn't my intention.

But what about his legacy and writing style, and you facing comparisons with your father?

I was very conscious of not trying to write like my dad. Most obviously because his writing is unique. No one can imitate that successfully. But, also, it's just not me.

The Hunter S. Thompson rhythm, though. A lot of writers might aspire to it.

Late in his life, people would read something of his for him. He was conscious of the rhythm and flow of his sentences. He would track the beats with his hand. If you didn't get it right, he'd be upset. If you messed up too many times, he'd say, "All right, that's enough."

How did he deal with copy editors who dared to cut his copy and upset his flow?

He never saw himself as working for an editor. At best, it was a collaboration. At worst, it was an irritation to be removed. He had a lot of respect for [Rolling Stone co-founder] Jann Wenner. He would listen to his suggestions. Then again, the editor's job with Hunter was not to improve his writing, but just to get the writing from him period.

In the book, you describe how difficult it was for him to write toward the end of his life.

I don't think writing was ever easy for Hunter. And it just got harder. As he got older, and his concentration diminished, he counted on editors to help string the fragments together into a coherent whole.

It must have been frustrating, like a professional athlete losing their power. Was he aware of it?

Very much so. His ESPN columns were really difficult for him to complete. They were only 1,000 or 1,500 words, but it was a monumental effort to get them done. I think it was extremely frustrating to him. The amount of cocaine didn't help. And I think the long-term effects of the alcohol really started to affect his whole body, including his mind, in the end.

The drugs and the alcohol: When it comes to gonzo journalism, do you think too much attention was paid by others to the gonzo and not enough on the journalism?

For sure. The gonzo persona became a real burden to him. It started with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and it just never went away. In the last 10 years of his life he started to get some recognition from the establishment for his work, and that made him very happy. It's odd that an anti-establishment figure such as Hunter S. Thompson would care about that endorsement, but he did.

In the preface, you write about memories being unfaithful and treacherous. How accurate is the book?

I didn't set out to write a definitive biography. I didn't interview a lot of different people, because I quickly realized that other people's memories are just as unreliable as mine. Adding those would just magnify the distortion.

The book is warts and all. But the title, Stories I Tell Myself, suggest versions of stories told to oneself in such a way as to make a person feel better. A flattering spin, in other words.

The story I wrote was the most truthful and accurate that I was able to write. Is it the truth? No, probably not. Do I have motivation to focus on the more positive aspects? Yeah. So, even with the careful intention of trying to present things as clearly and accurately as I remembered, I don't think the book is the last word on Hunter. Memories and conclusions are suspect, and they always will be.

In discovering things while writing, what did you learn about your father when it came to your relationship?

I got the feeling he was paying attention to me more than I thought he was. And that was really nice to know. Even when he didn't seem to be, he cared about what was happening to me.

What's your assessment of him as a father?

He loved me, he cared for me. He wanted to be a good father, but he really didn't know how. In the day-to-day sense, I'd say he wasn't very good at it. But as I say in the book, being a father and a husband, that was not the most important thing to him, ever. Being a writer was most important to him. That's not a failure, that's just who he was.

This interview has been edited and condensed.

Stories I Tell Myself: Growing Up with Hunter S. Thompson is published by Knopf.