Guitarist Andy Summers of The Police performs as singer Sting and drummer Stewart Copeland are seen on a screen in the background at the HSH Nordbank Arena in Hamburg, Germany.MORRIS MAC MATZEN/Reuters
"De do do do, de da da da," that's all that Andy Summers wants to say to you.
Can't Stand Losing You is a sloppy, unremarkable rockumentary drearily narrated by the nearly literate Police guitarist, who, perhaps at someone else's insistence, reads passages from his 2006 memoir One Train Later.
Time flashes backward and forward, willy and nilly, as we are told the histories of Summers – he first took mother's milk in a caravan wagon in 1942 – and the fractious hit-making band.
The film is a drag – lightened up unintentionally by Summers's laughable prose.
About Sting working on Roxanne while Summers and his wife were in bed: "We roll over and drift off to sleep, as the germinating seed of 'You don't have to put on the red light' caress the last embers of consciousness and makes a lullaby for the baby that grows in Kate's belly."
The film ends with no summation.
Summers survived the Police, only to kill us monotonously with his story.
Brad Wheeler