Hello, and welcome to our photos from the Emmy Awards. My name is Mark Wahlberg and I'll be your poorly tailored maitre d'.Kristian Dowling/The Associated Press
There were many beautiful women on the Emmy red carpet and at the parties afterward. Like Kate Winslet...Chris Pizzello/The Associated Press
...And Anna Paquin...Kristian Dowling/The Associated Press
...And Paz de la Huerta. Okay, maybe not Paz de la Huerta. Actually, definitely not Paz de la Huerta. She looks like she got her head stuck in a tanning booth.
That's right, Gwyneth Paltrow. When people hear the words "tank top" and "macrame," they think, "Glamour!"Chris Pizzello/The Associated Press
Other than the fact she wore her dress backwards, Dianna Agron had a fun night at the Emmy Awards.Kristian Dowling/The Associated Press
Hey, Alan Cumming -- Barbara Eden called and she wants her pants back.Kristian Dowling/The Associated Press
Hey, Kristen Wiig -- Jane Jetson called and she wants her brown dress back.Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
What scene of utter horror has prompted a publicist to urge a petrified Jon Hamm to run like hell?LUCY NICHOLSON/Reuters
Oh sweet mother of pearl! It's Phoebe Price. RUN!!Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Actor Steve Buscemi fails to see the problem.Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images
Sofia Vergara is perfect.Kristian Dowling/The Associated Press
Why thank you!Kristian Dowling/The Associated Press
The excitable Cory Monteith rides the Glee gravy train onto the Emmy red carpet.Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Actress Zooey Deschanel takes a minute to communicate with her home planet during the Emmy Awards.Kevin Winter/Getty Images
I don't know about the room Christina Hendricks is in, but her dress has definitely exceeded its maximum occupancy.Getty Images
"It's okay, girls," says Paz de La Huerta. "We can't all be Christina Hendricks."Reuters
Elsewhere in the world, Paula Abdul removes an unwanted speck of human kindness from the face of Simon Cowell at the premiere of their new show, "The X Factor."Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
Cowell and Abdul later teamed up to demonstrate to the public how best to watch their show.Reuters
Helen Mirren attends a screening of her film "The Debt" in Berlin on Sunday, proving once and for all that the Germans can make anybody look frumpy.Andreas Rentz/Getty Images
Brad Pitt gets caught with his mouth full at the after-party for the premiere of "Moneyball" in Oakland, Calif., on Monday. That may actually not be a joke.Michael Buckner/Getty Images
Swedish actress Malin Buska, at the screening of Swedish director Bjorn Runge's film "Happy End", is living proof that, if it weren't so bad for us, we'd be stupid not to smoke.RAFA RIVAS/AFP / Getty Images