A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week
APHRIA - STAR
“Dude, do you know what J.T. stands for?”
“Justin Trudeau?”
“No, dude … Joints and Tokes.”
“Ahhh haaa haaa haaa.”
“Haaa haaa haaa haaa.”
“You know what’s even funnier, dude? All those marijuana stocks I bought before the election are going through the roof.”
APH (TSXV), $1.12, up 22¢ or 24.4% over week
VALEANT PHARMACEUTICALS - DOG
Side effects of investing in drug maker Valeant Pharmaceuticals include but are not limited to: heavy financial losses, negative short-seller reports, allegations of aggressive accounting, backlash from politicians over drug pricing, analyst rating cuts, irritability, insomnia, cancelled vacations, depression, marital discord and a burning sensation on the face and ears when examining one’s portfolio.
VRX (TSX), $152.69, down $74.71 or 32.8% over week
TESLA MOTORS - DOG
Consumer Reports in February, 2015: “The Model S is a technological tour de force” and “our best overall pick for the second consecutive year.”
Consumer Reports in October, 2015: Model S owners “reported an array of detailed and complicated maladies” – including problems with the drive-train, power and charging equipment – prompting the magazine to pull its “recommended” rating. Looks like the stock is experiencing some reliability issues of its own.
TSLA (Nasdaq), $209.09 (U.S.), down $17.92 or 7.9% over week
WEIGHT WATCHERS - STAR
Will Oprah Winfrey lose weight now that she has bought a 10-per-cent stake in Weight Watchers and enrolled in its program? We’ll see. Will Oprah – who was also granted options for another 5 per cent of the company – make buckets of money on the deal? She already has. With shares of the company more than doubling on news of her involvement, the billionaire media mogul added another much-needed $90-million or so to her net worth.
WTW (NYSE), $15.75 (U.S.), up $8.96 or 132% over week
HARLEY-DAVIDSON - DOG
Turns out motorcycles can be dangerous to your financial health, too. Shares of Harley-Davidson hit a rock and crashed after the iconic motorcycle maker reported a 1.4-per-cent drop in global third-quarter sales and cut its full-year shipment forecast for a second time this year, citing a “heightened competitive environment.” With Japanese rivals able to cut prices in the U.S. thanks to the strong dollar, Harley investors have a face full of asphalt.
HOG (NYSE), $48.20 (U.S.), down $7.21 or 13% over week