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A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week.

Rogers Communications (DOG)

Miss watching sports? Rogers shareholders feel your pain. With no pro hockey, baseball or basketball being played during the second quarter, the owner of the Sportsnet TV network and Toronto Blue Jays baseball club suffered a 50-per-cent tumble in media revenue as advertisers slashed spending. Making matters worse, Rogers’ wireless business suffered from lower subscriber additions, weaker demand for device upgrades and a drop in roaming revenue as global travel ground to a halt. Now that leagues are resuming play, Rogers shareholders might finally have something to cheer about. But will Leafs fans?

RCI.B - TSX

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Tesla (DOG)

Things that have been going nowhere but up: 1) Global coronavirus cases; 2) Joe Biden’s poll numbers; 3) Tesla’s stock price. Well, until this week, anyway. Even after the electric car maker reported better-than-expected quarterly earnings of US$104-million or 50 US cents a share and – thanks to posting its fourth consecutive quarter of profits – now qualifies for inclusion in the S&P 500 Index, investors took advantage of the stock’s massive rally to lock in profits. What, P/E of 180 too high for ya?

TSLA - Nasdaq

Snap (DOG)

For Snap, the coronavirus pandemic has brought mixed results. When lockdowns started, the company’s social-media platform, Snapchat, saw an uptick in daily active users as people sought ways to stay connected. But “this initial lift dissipated faster than we anticipated,” CFO Derek Andersen said. With second-quarter user growth coming in below expectations and advertising-friendly factors such as the back-to-school season and new film releases “unlikely to materialize in the same way they have in prior years,” investors made a snap decision to sell the stock.

SNAP - NYSE

Lemonade (DOG)

Business quiz! Lemonade Inc. is: a) a company that wholesales frozen concentrated lemonade, orange juice and fruit punch to retailers across the United States; b) a fast-growing lemonade stand business started by an 11-year-old Harvard MBA graduate; c) an online home-insurance company whose shares have rocketed higher since its July 2 IPO at US$29 – except for this week when investors decided to squeeze some profits from Lemonade’s stock. Answer: c.

LMND - NYSE

Intel (DOG)

You might say Intel investors have a chip on their shoulder. In the latest production setback for the company, Intel said it is delaying the release of its next-generation 7-nanometre chips by a year to late 2022 or early 2023, citing flaws in the manufacturing process. The disappointing news – combined with weaker-than-expected earnings guidance – sent Intel’s stock down sharply. But it gave a boost to shares of rival AMD, which already sells 7-nm chips. “This, our 45th Intel earnings call, was the worst we have seen in our career covering the company,” wrote Bernstein analyst Stacy Rasgon. Tell us how you really feel.

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INTC - Nasdaq

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