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stars and dogs

A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week

Tesla Inc. (Dog)

Five things we learned from Elon Musk’s soul-baring interview with The New York Times:

1. He spent his 47th birthday at a Tesla factory: “All night – no friends, nothing.”

2. He has strong views on marijuana: “Weed is not helpful for productivity.”

3. He is willing to surrender leadership: “Is there someone who can do the job better? They can have the reins right now.”

4. He needs help to catch some z’s: “It’s often a choice of no sleep or Ambien.”

5. Soul-baring has a price: Tesla shares fell 8.94 per cent on Friday.


Horizons Marijuana Life Sciences ETF (Star)

I first bought Canopy Growth Corp. shares because of that cool ticker symbol – WEED. Marketing gold, man. Then, I expanded deeper into the sector because medicinal pot was going recreational, see? Whole new market beyond glaucoma, hair loss and freckles. But when I saw this week that a gigantic U.S. company, Constellation Brands, was buying a bigger stake in Canopy, well, that just blew my mind. Hey, it means that all Canadian producers are buys, right? Right?


Barrick Gold Corp. (Dog)

Gold prices haven’t gone anywhere for years, which is really weighing on Barrick Gold’s share price. Here’s a helpful tip for the company: Move beyond commodity production and into value-added products. I know what you’re thinking: Gold-plated toilets have been done to death. But what about gold-plated office supplies? I’m talking gold staples, gold paper clips and gold thumb tacks. Are you with me? I mean, gold bars are nice and all. But you need something to do with them.


Walmart Inc. (Star)

If Walmart’s partnership with comedian and talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres goes well – she is designing a lineup of jeans, shoes and shirts, some carrying her own inspirational messages – expect the retailer to partner with other sometime-designers in its quest to offer exclusive brands. I, for one, am eager to offer my own line of T-shirts, emblazoned with my adorable observations on health: “I have water in my ear”; “My rash is spreading”; and “Well, there goes my back, again.”


Element Fleet Management Corp. (Star)

After stumbling more than 70 per cent between March, 2017, and March, 2018, this stock has been on a bit of run lately, punctuated by this week’s double-digit rally. Pick your reason:

a) People love yachts, especially in the summertime. While Element Fleet does not manage yachts, it does manage fleets. And a fleet is many boats, right?

b) Investors simply love betting on underdogs that have nothing to do with marijuana or cryptocurrencies.

c) In its second-quarter results, released on Monday, profit more than doubled from last year, suggesting the company’s operations are now stabilizing after a period of decline.


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Tickers mentioned in this story

Study and track financial data on any traded entity: click to open the full quote page. Data updated as of 24/05/24 4:00pm EDT.

SymbolName% changeLast
Tesla Inc
GX Marijuana Life Sciences Index ETF
Barrick Gold Corp
Walmart Inc
Element Fleet Management Corp

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