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This column is part of Globe Careers' Leadership Lab series, where executives and experts share their views and advice about leadership and management. Follow us at @Globe_Careers. Find all Leadership Lab stories at

Don is the CEO of a family-run business. His entrepreneurial roots span three generations and he is fiercely proud of his lineage. When "the good times" recently came to a grinding halt and the business headed into a rapid decline, a foreboding cloud of doom overtook a once-happy, thriving workplace. With 70 employees on his payroll and a shrinking customer base, Don's anxiety skyrocketed with each passing day. No one was immune from Don's tongue-lashing as he grappled to manage his emotions and prevent his business from collapsing.

Don's struggle is not unique. Sadly, too many leaders lack the essential skills to communicate, connect and take responsibility for their shortcomings, regardless of business conditions. They fail to understand that the manner in which they deliver company news or provide employees with direction and feedback – whether good, bad or ugly – is within their control.

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Daniel Goleman's groundbreaking research on the subject of "emotional intelligence" confirmed the significance of the emotional quotient (EQ) in business. When interviewed by Ivy Business Journal about his book Primal Leadership Mr. Goleman described "a leader's primal task is an emotional one – to articulate a message that resonates with their followers' emotional reality, with their sense of purpose – and so to move people in a positive direction."

The following deadly mistakes could be avoided if more leaders learned to lead rather than operate in a frenzied manner:

Deadly Mistake # 1: Taking your bad mood out on others

Stressful situations often bring out the worst in leaders who are either feeling squeezed due to economic uncertainty, or the cumulative, demanding pressures of work and life. The most effective leaders recognize that the "boss" title, doesn't legitimize your mood swings, nor does it give you permission to take your frustrations out on your team. It's one thing to reveal your humanness; it's another to let your emotions run wild no matter how much economic uncertainty prevails.

Deadly Mistake # 2: Constantly switching priorities

Leaders are responsible for setting the agenda, articulating the vision and allocating the work. They expect teams to manage projects within an anticipated time frame and meet customer demands; constraints that are understood as a "given." However, all too often leaders change direction on a whim, causing havoc for employees and clients alike. When they incessantly shift the focus, confusion reigns as teams are forever chasing goals that have become moving targets.

Deadly Mistake #3: Criticizing, rather than critiquing performance

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Evidence regarding unsatisfactory performance may be a genuine cause for concern. However, the opportunity to correct the issue diminishes when leaders are incapable of engaging in a conversation that gets to the heart of the problem. Their line of questioning can exacerbate the situation, such as: "Why did you do it this way?" instead of "tell me more about your process." Defaulting to "why" implies judgment.

Deadly Mistake # 4: It's my way or the highway

Many leaders use a take-it-or-leave-it philosophy with their employees, leaving no room for compromise. This makes people feel powerless and unappreciated, stifling opportunities or a desire to offer innovative ideas and alternative suggestions to improve existing processes. A lack of flexibility on the leader's part can destroy team morale and motivation. In addition, an intransigent approach can have an adverse impact on productivity as a team goes through the motions implementing a directive they don't agree with.

Deadly Mistake #5: Focusing on negatives before the positives

Too many leaders look for examples of what a team member is doing wrong, instead of what they are doing right. It is no surprise that many organizations continue to experience low morale and declining levels of engagement when leaders rarely offer appreciation or praise. When this occurs, especially during a performance review, the employee will shut down and tune out. Phrases that begin with "you should," "you need to," "you always," "you have to," often elicit a defensive response. Giving feedback is not the same as giving orders. An employee is less likely to develop and thrive under a leader who is constantly telling them what to do, or how to improve.

Deadly Mistake #6: Viewing employees through a myopic lens

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Many leaders lack objectivity. This will invariably show up in their communication. A good leader will appreciate having team members with personalities or work styles that are different (but complementary) to them. A poor leader can't see past the differences, seeing them as an irritant, rather than looking at performance or contribution. When a leader's biases affect the lens through which they view their workforce, they run the risk of alienating themselves from the entire leadership infrastructure and may damage the reputation of the very organization they have toiled to build. By focusing on the personalities, genders and cultural background of an employee through vague, subjective language that pushes buttons (for example, "I want to talk to you about your attitude") the mark on a leader's character may be forever tarnished.

Deadly Mistake # 7: Taking all the credit

Good leaders know how to share credit and praise their employees. They are able to lead by example, set their egos aside for the good of the company and their employees. Give credit to employees when it is due. Acknowledging the accomplishments of your staff will make them feel like valued members of your team. And when your team members shine, you can bask in the afterglow without the need to take accolades that were not yours in the first place.

Teams crave caring communication from their leaders, through any economy. When they don't receive it, or when it is framed incorrectly, it can often be the catalyst that sparks dissatisfaction and heightens the desire to leave their jobs. It is incumbent on leaders to be mindful about the impact of their words, their influence and delivery, on the career path of an employee.

Michelle Ray (@michelleraycsp) is a Vancouver-based business keynote speaker, leadership expert, author and founder of the Lead Yourself First Institute . She will be signing her new book Lead Yourself First! Indispensable Lessons in Business and in Life at the Chapters Indigo Bookstore at Bay and Bloor Streets in Toronto between 12 p.m. and 2 p.m. on Thursday, May 28.

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