Mistakes, I've made a few. So have you. Go on, admit it.
Me, I really should not have agreed to interview Moses Znaimer some years ago. There he was in his office, in darkness, staring at me with a mixture of curiosity and hostility. At his side was a publicist who laughed at his jokes and nodded in agreement at his gnomic remarks. Mostly, Znaimer wanted to attack The Globe and Mail and me. His opening gambit was his delight at the prospect of the day when one could order a Globe that did not include my column. Like all of us, his demeanour has become more sunny since then. Or so I hear, anyway.
You - you probably shouldn't have put your trust in The Pacific, HBO's heavily hyped war drama. Probably shouldn't have believed that Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks could deliver another Band of Brothers. The series is well-made but murky and lacking in compelling characters.
But back to my mistakes. We'll start here - stand up and take responsibility and all that. The other day I wrote some mischief about soccer as a cultural signifier, hockey as a tool of the minority Conservative government and such. Among other things, I pointed out that Jason Kenney's department (he's minister for citizenship, immigration and multiculturalism) had ensured that the new version of the citizenship-and-immigration study guide included the phrase "Canadian children have collected hockey cards for generations."
Well, Minister Kenney's office was in touch to point out that the section of the guide relating to popular sports also included a mention of soccer. This is true. I know that now. What's interesting is that the section has a big photo of the Montreal Canadiens winning the Stanley Cup, much info about how popular hockey is in Canada, and a bit about Canadian football, curling and lacrosse. Then the final sentence is this: "Soccer has the most registered players of any game in Canada." Excuse me, but if it has more players than any other game, it might merit more than an afterthought. I'm just saying.
Now let's talk TV mistakes. They are numerous. The Jay Leno Show. The CBC's reluctance to defend itself with vigour against charges of bias. Mark Kelley's Connect on CBC NN. Most attempts to morph the rom-com movie format to TV: Accidentally on Purpose and Romantically Challenged, for instance.
But there are a few recent stand-out mistakes.
Drea de Matteo on Desperate Housewives. De Matteo was superb on The Sopranos as Adriana, Christopher's long-suffering girlfriend. Then, bizarrely, she went to the horrible post- Friends comedy Joey. On Wives, her role (she's been on the run from the authorities for years) calls for some oomph and menace. Instead, the character and the actor are the most dreary part of the show.
Anna Paquin of True Blood announces she's bisexual. On April Fool's Day, Paquin, the cute-as-a-button star of True Blood delivered a public-service announcement for the Give A Damn campaign, an anti-discrimination organization led by singer Cyndi Lauper. "I'm bisexual," Paquin said, and then stated, "One hate crime is committed approximately every hour of every day in this country." It was too much. So much attention was paid that the server crashed. And then everybody wondered it was an April Fool's joke.
Tiger Woods. His voice-from-beyond-the-grave commercial. Nike got behind Woods's comeback by showing an ad with a sombre-looking Woods listening to the voice of his dead father admonish him for his transgressions. Sell a lot of golf shoes and baseball caps with the macabre, do you?
Fly Girls. A recent CW reality series about Virgin flight attendants chronicled their fun lives - all glamorous travel, flirting with cool guys, and fun parties. The Transport Workers Union of America, which is hoping to represent Virgin employees, promptly bought ads in the opening episode of the show to tell viewers that most flight attendants don't live the luxury life seen on the show. "Virgin is a fun, hip place to work," it said. "However, not all aspects of the job are fun and hip." Talk about raising the issue of reality in reality TV.
Airing today
American Experience: Road to Memphis (PBS, 9 p.m.) is a two-hour documentary on the interconnected final days of Martin Luther King Jr. and his assassin, James Earl Ray. The program has already aroused controversy in the United States, with some scholars saying it fails to deal with many issues - including the fact that some members of King's family declined to believe that Ray was the killer, and the matter of whether Ray was part of a larger conspiracy.
24 (Fox, Global, 9 p.m.) has reached the best part of any 24 season - Jack's personal mission. Fox says, "Jack stops at absolutely nothing to avenge the emotional setback of losing his beloved partner, Renee Walker. Meanwhile, the administration attempts to keep the historic and pivotal peace agreement on track as undermining forces surface." Hello? "Undermining forces surface." Jack Bauer laughs at undermining forces that surface. J.D.
Check local listings.