Tis the season for TV regifting.
Long before Seinfeld put a name to paying forward an unwanted present, the broadcast world had already refined the regifting act. With Christmas falling on a Friday this year, networks and cable channels have gone all out to assemble viewing marathons of popular programs to engage viewers trapped at home for three straight days.
For once, there are programs for all TV tastes. It's a Festivus miracle! For thinking viewers, the grandest gift is tonight's Christmas Eve broadcast of Little Dorrit (TVO, 7 p.m. to 11 p.m.), which airs in its eight-hour entirety, half this evening and the other half tomorrow night.
When first shown in 2008, reviewers were unanimous in praising Little Dorrit as the most faithful TV adaptation of a Charles Dickens novel ever made. As with most high-brow fare, nobody watched. Regardless, the BBC-PBS co-production collected seven Emmys last fall - more than any program on television - including Outstanding Miniseries.
And it is a marvel. A brisk snapshot of London life circa 1855, the story recounts the hard times suffered upon winsome seamstress Amy Dorrit (Claire Foy), who resides in debtor's prison with her luckless father William (Tom Courtenay, in the performance of his career). Along the way there is romance, dark Dickensian secrets and a proper dig at maddening bureaucracy and the English class system.
In tonight's more pedestrian marathons, Canada's Worst Driver (Discovery, 6 p.m. to midnight) is the fifth season of the reality series confirming what most of us have suspected for years: Some people really should not have a driver's licence. No wonder insurance premiums keep rising.
Also tonight: Jersey Shore (MTV, 7 p.m. to 11 p.m.) has people buzzing of late. In MTV-reality fashion, the series follows eight classless Italian-Americans sharing a summer house on the New Jersey shore. Since debuting in early December, the show has become freakishly popular in the United States and some of the cast, who proudly refer to themselves as "Guidos," keep showing up on The Jay Leno Show.
The marathon floodgates open even wider tomorrow, presumably in order for people to test out their nifty new plasma TVs. Are there really viewers out there willing to spend all of Christmas Day watching women being fitted for wedding frocks on Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 2 p.m. to 10 p.m.)? Sadly, yes.
In the same spirit, more or less, there's no doubt an audience for the marathon of Ace of Cakes (Food Network, 6 p.m. to 10 p.m.), in which custom cake maker Duff Goldman creates towering mounds of confectionery sugar. Your teeth will ache just from watching.
And yes, Virginia, there truly is an armchair-jock demographic capable of supporting a full day of Pros Vs. Joes (Spike, 9 a.m. to midnight), wherein amateur athletes take on professionals in rigged challenges. Among other questions, the show asks, "Could you last one round with boxer Roy Jones Jr.?" Some people will do anything to get on television.
All things considered, most viewers should probably consider devoting time tomorrow to the marathon of Til Debt Do Us Part (Slice, 8 p.m. to 11 p.m.), in which financial expert Gail Vaz-Oxlade provides reality checks for couples hopelessly in debt. The first steps involve cutting up their credit cards and devising a sensible monthly household budget. The recession ain't over yet, you know.
The marathon madness continues on Boxing Day, which features something for everyone. Sci-fi fans will get up early for the Star Trek Movie Marathon (Saturday, Space, 7 a.m. to 11 p.m.). The journey begins with the 1979 feature Star Trek: The Motion Picture and wraps up 16 hours later with Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. Live long and prosper.
Younger viewers, meanwhile, will likely stay up late for Prank Patrol (YTV, 9 p.m. to midnight), which ventures outside its usual Montreal shooting locations to Vancouver and other Canadian cities. If you haven't seen it, the show features kids playing nasty tricks on friends and siblings. Nothing brings a family closer together than a mean-spirited practical joke, they say.
The best reason to stay indoors this weekend is the opportunity to revisit the entire first season of Mad Men (Bravo!, episodes 1-7, Saturday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; episodes 8-13, Sunday, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.).
Launched in 2007 on AMC, Mad Men currently reigns as TV's best series: The first two seasons have won consecutive Best Drama Emmys. Set in the heady world of New York advertising, circa the early sixties, the show is rich in period detail and rife with well-written characters. Like The Sopranos, Mad Men is precisely the type of TV drama best absorbed in one long sitting - though not recommended for those viewers with a New Year's resolution to quit smoking.
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Also airing
Check local listings.
Trailer Park Boys Christmas Special (Showcase, 9 p.m.) First shown in 2004, this special finds the low-rent lads of Sunnyvale Trailer Park diving headlong into the holiday spirit. Julian (John Paul Tremblay) is scheming new ways to make money; Bubbles (Mike Smith) is set to finally open the Christmas gift from his childhood; and Mr. Lahey (John Dunsworth) has plenty of liquor. Ricky (Robb Wells), meanwhile, seems convinced that God and Santa are the same person. Bless 'em all.
The Queen's Christmas Message (CBC, noon, 11 p.m.) This annual tradition began as a BBC radio broadcast from King George V in 1932 and has become a higher-tech affair in the decades since; last year's message was the first to air in high-definition. As always, viewers should expect Her Majesty to reflect briefly on the year past and cast forward to better times ahead for the British Commonwealth. A.R.