Milla Jovovich’s Monster Hunter is the best kind of super-dumb fun

Open this photo in gallery:

• Monster Hunter
• Written and directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
• Starring Milla Jovovich, Tony Jaa and Ron Perlman
• Classification PG; 99 minutes

There are killer film openings and then there are the first five minutes of Monster Hunter. Kicking off with a scene of a pirate ship careening through an ocean of sand toward a mysterious dark tower, a grizzled and fur-draped Ron Perlman at the helm, all backed with a wild synth-heavy score, the beginning of Paul W.S. Anderson’s video-game adaptation is peak fantasy-thriller cuckoo-bananas madness. I had to stop myself three times from yelling out, “Hell yeah!” lest I woke up my 11-month-old son napping upstairs.

The only problem is that after those first few outlandish minutes, Monster Hunter settles into … well, not exactly a more mundane narrative speed, but certainly one less enjoyably bonkers. Swapping interdimensional sand pirates for the familiarity of a United Nations joint security task force roaming somewhere in the desert, the film now focuses on a standard search-and-rescue mission, with Captain Artemis (Milla Jovovich) and her crew of standard-issue roughnecks on the lookout for fallen comrades.

Open this photo in gallery:

One rift in the interdimensional time-space continuum later, though, and our earthly heroes are now stuck in some nether world, where they must face off with giant monstrosities straight out of the Godzilla playbook (there’s a good reason why Japanese production company Toho is one of the players behind this adventure). Oh, and Thai martial arts superstar Tony Jaa is here, too, wielding a crossbow the size of a sedan and a sword seemingly carved from the jaw of a dinosaur.

Listen: Monster Hunter is all sorts of super-dumb fun. And though its middle section lags – there are only so many training montages audiences can handle – Anderson and his wife Jovovich prove that their long-running Resident Evil franchise was no fluke: this is a couple who know how to take the flimsiest of video games and turn them into self-knowing slices of cinematic ridiculousness.

Will we find out why Anderson named his lead hero after the Greek word for “butcher”? Will Perlman re-enter the proceedings with a flaming sword or two? Will we be introduced to the very best cat character in cinematic history? I think you already know the answers. Happy hunting.

Monster Hunter opens in Canadian theatres Dec. 18, dependent on local health restrictions

Plan your screen time with the weekly What to Watch newsletter. Sign up today.