Our Beautiful Sons finds a moment of humanity in a military family’s story

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In April, 2006, Matthew Dinning – the youngest member of the Canadian Forces' Close Protection Unit – was killed by a roadside bomb while providing security for Brigadier General David Fraser in Afghanistan. He was 23.

One year later, Brendon – Matthew's younger brother – volunteered for his own tour of duty in Afghanistan, leading the Canadian Forces to ask his parents, Lincoln and Laurie, if they should grant his request.

Playwright and actor Christopher Morris – whose recent play The Road to Paradise is also about the war in Afghanistan – has brought this true story of the Dinning family's dilemma to the stage of the Blyth Festival in Blyth, Ont.

Our Beautiful Sons: Remembering Matthew Dinning follows Laurie Dinning as she hikes the Camino Trail – and tries to make an impossible decision. Theatre critic J. Kelly Nestruck spoke to Morris after watching the opening performance.

When did you discover that there was this moment where Lincoln and Laurie Dinning were essentially given a veto on sending Matthew's younger brother to Afghanistan?

When I came into the picture, Brendon – the younger brother – had already gone once, and I had originally thought the play I'd write would be from Matthew's youth to soon after his death. In the middle of doing my research, Laurie went on the trip to the Camino Trail – and Brendon decided to go back to Afghanistan for the second time. It was a very intense circumstance. I could tell it was a big moment in their lives.

So, you altered the story a little – so Laurie's trip coincides with her decision about Brendon's first tour.

In reality, Laurie did the Trail because of Brendon's second tour. But to make the story simpler and easier, I changed it.

But it is true that the Forces consulted the Dinnings about Brendon.

Yes. It was a phone call that took place. At the opening, the head of the Military Police for the Armed Forces was there – and he was talking to me about it. Their perspective was that what happened to Matthew … it might not be fair for one family to accept two losses in their lives. It became the real crux of the story for me. It's not really a play about war – it's a play about parenting. How do you give your children all the freedom they need to have to become the people they want to be? I recently had a kid, a little girl, and these thoughts are in my head. When do you intervene – and when do you let them hurt themselves?

How much time did you spend with the Dinning family?

It was on and off over about three years. They like coming to Toronto – they'd get a Mirvish show-and-hotel deal, come in and then we'd go out for dinner. Laurie can be quite reserved – rightly so. She's had a lot of public exposure whether she liked it or not. As I learned with The Road to Paradise, you need to take the time with these things …

Laurie ended up the main character in your show. I thought Rebecca Auerbach was really wonderful in the part. It must have been difficult to play – especially hard on opening night in front of the real Laurie. What was her reaction to seeing herself as the protagonist in a drama about her real life?

Whenever I had a draft of the script, I always sent it to them over the years, so they read it and were always aware of everything in it. But it was terrifying. You never know how these things are going to go. Laurie said, "You nailed it. That's our life."

Beyond Laurie's journey, there are many fascinating peeks into the Dinning family life – such as Matthew, as a child, telling his father that, essentially, he's not a real soldier when he returns from peacekeeping in Kosovo.

What would happen is I would speak to the Dinnings, then I would hear stories. And then I would speak to Gail, the neighbour, and I'd hear her perspective on the circumstances. No one came right out and said that detail – but I knew there was an argument the night Lincoln came home between him and Matthew. I thought: It's a house full of very ambitious men, that's what they're talking about: who's a better man.

These ambitious men – they talk about their genitalia a lot in the show. There's the scene where Lincoln has his vasectomy – and where we learn Matthew's nickname was "horse."

It's all true. All those things.

How much did that macho-ness play into their military-oriented view of being men?

I wrote the script and people in the play were saying, "Boy, there's a lot of genitalia talk." But none of them had met Lincoln yet. When we went to meet them, we all had a big lunch at his house – and he's non-stop sexual joking. He has a great sense of humour. For me, I think it comes more out of humour than a hardness about being a man. I feel Lincoln's joking is a way to relieve some of the heaviness of life and have fun.

I thought you took a very documentary feel to those scenes, so it didn't feel like you were judging the characters one way or the other. How much did the cast get to meet these people?

We went to Laurie and Lincoln's place and had a big lunch – and Lincoln took us to the grave where Matthew was. Then, I arranged a meeting for Catherine Fitch to meet Gail.

I wasn't sure if Gail really existed, because it's just a perfect Catherine Fitch character.

She exists – and all her friends are calling her. It is perfect for Catherine.

Some of the characters aren't as filled in – I would have liked to know more about this woman who Matthew was with, who the military later ruled could be considered his spouse.

With her, it was territory that I didn't want to push further into. There was a very big public debate in the media between the Dinnings and her regarding this benefit for spouses. I kind of avoided that territory.

Is she going to see the show?

No, I don't think so. I changed her name as well. All the other names in the play are real.

Final question: Because I was at the Blyth Festival for the opening dinner [where my fiancée, playwright Charlotte Corbeil-Coleman, was invited to deliver a speech] and ended up sitting at the head table next to the show's director, Gil Garrett, I ended up feeling I shouldn't review. So, instead I'll ask you to assign your own star rating. How many stars out of four?

Three and a half?

This interview has been condensed and edited.

Our Beautiful Sons: Remembering Matthew Dinning (blythfestival.com) continues to Aug. 6