Why it’s time to talk about family-building challenges at work

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For more than three years, Nicolas Moughabghab and his wife have been going through fertility treatments, including countless hours of tests, procedures and the emotional and physical rollercoaster prompted by this kind of medical intervention.

His experience isn’t uncommon. Each year, a number of Canadians embark on family-building journeys which may include medications, surgeries, intrauterine insemination (IUI), in vitro fertilization (IVF), sperm and egg donation, surrogacy and more.

While the financial and physical demands can be substantial, individuals experiencing difficulties with fertility and family-building can go through emotional and psychological challenges as well, including at work. Even though family-building difficulties are common, it’s an issue that is rarely spoken about in the workplace, leaving many to suffer in silence.

“It’s an emotional time and, at points, you feel powerless,” says Mr. Moughabghab of the strains of the process. “You [can] support and hope and believe, but there’s nothing else you can do.”

The logistics of the process can also mean a battery of tests – many of which are booked last minute – that can impact one’s work schedule and performance. Employees may not feel comfortable divulging their family-building journey, which is why it’s important for employers to ensure their leadership teams are sensitive to these challenges.

Mr. Moughabghab, an account executive at Desjardins Insurance, says he feels lucky to have been in a position where he felt comfortable speaking to his manager about what he and his family were going through because it was just one less thing to worry about.

“It felt really easy to open the discussion with my employer,” he says.

Being offered flexibility in his work hours was one of the biggest things that helped Mr. Moughabghab feel valued at work and helped him stay on track with his productivity. He also knew he and his wife could have access to counselling sessions to help with the emotional burden if they ever needed to, thanks to his group benefits.

“Waiting for an appointment, waiting for test results, the financial impact… all of those things can be incredibly hard on your mental health, so knowing that there’s an option of someone to talk to is really important – it could be your family, your friends, your employer or health-care professionals,” says Mr. Moughabghab.

‘Empathy and understanding’

Provincial and federal law require workplaces to accommodate employees who are successful with their family-building journey, including pregnancy and parental leave. Some employers also provide additional accommodations and top-up pay. But these policies often leave out a significant portion of the workforce – around one in six Canadians are seeking treatment for fertility issues, according to the Canadian Fertility and Andrology Society.

It’s important to have group benefits in place that cover mental health and offer financial supports as well as flexible hours, says William Lindsay, senior disability advisor, best practices and innovation at Desjardins Insurance. Policies like these can help show employees that their employer cares about this aspect of their lives and understands what they are going through.

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“The process of family building will impact someone’s overall well-being because it’s something that affects every facet of your life, from your finances to your social life,” says Mr. Lindsay. “So, the biggest thing that an employer can have is empathy and understanding.”

Absenteeism is a concern employers may have when it comes to employees in the family-building process, but presenteeism – when a worker is on the job but not functioning at their best – can be just as common when someone is under personal stress.

“A lot of times you’ll see people who will come into the office because the expectation is that they have to be there. If they don’t go, they don’t get paid. But there’s this [stress] weighing on them as well,” says Mr. Lindsay. “They’re not focusing on work, so it will have an impact on their productivity or the quality of their work.”

Mr. Lindsay adds that there’s also a social pressure in the workplace that can cause further anxiety. “A lot of people are going through this quietly and may feel that they can’t take time off because their colleagues will speculate about why they’re away, or worse, judge them.

“It adds an extra level of stress to the already stressful medical process,” he says.

Flexible hours and the option of hybrid or remote work arrangements can help reduce the risks of presenteeism and absenteeism, Mr. Lindsay says. Employee assistance programs (EAP) that offer counselling, information and referral services for individuals and their families are also valuable resources.

“EAPs are very helpful because they provide a first line of support to employees who need it,” says Mr. Lindsay. “Being able to have someone to talk to, even if it’s just to empty out all of one’s stresses in a safe, non-judgemental space, can really help.”

EAPs can also be valuable resources to help individuals plan how they’ll navigate the often complex process, he adds. “And for someone who’s in an area where it’s hard to find a psychologist, the EAP is really helpful because you can speak to someone almost instantaneously.”

Reducing the stigma

In addition to providing supports for employees in the family-building process, employers need to ensure their workforce knows about these supports, says Mr. Lindsay. This can be achieved through educational initiatives that could include speakers sharing what family-building journeys can look like, as well as details on what supports are on offer.

Employees may be reluctant to share what they’re going through because of social stigma surrounding infertility and family-building, or because they worry about being passed over for advancement opportunities if it becomes known they’re trying to build a family.

Managers can mitigate these feelings of doubt and anxiety in their staff by encouraging an open dialogue, says Mr. Lindsay. Workplace leaders should be trained on how to discuss these issues with staff members. They should also be aware of resources such as EAPs so they can point employees who are struggling in the right direction.

“Knowledge is power,” says Mr. Lindsay. “Managers need to better understand the process so they know what to expect when they have an employee who’s going through this.”

Attitude matters too, he notes.

“Having a positive approach as a manager to be able to support an employee… that’s one of the basic things that you can do for this or any situation that an employee could be going through,” says Mr. Lindsay.

Providing benefits that support employees in the process of building can also help attract and retain top talent within a younger workforce, he adds, because employees who feel valued as people are more likely to stay with a company.

Mr. Moughabghab says that he feels valued because of the care and understanding he’s received from his workplace while going through the family-building journey. He agrees that this kind of positive experience could make a difference when it comes to employee retention and loyalty.

“I think it’s something that you’d remember in the future… that your employer helped you build your family,” says Mr. Moughabghab. “Work is really important, but I think it’s also about finding the balance between work and personal life and being able to understand that behind all that work, there are people.”

Explore more on workplace inclusion

Looking for ideas and insights on fostering DEI in your organization? Visit our dedicated hub, Making a case for inclusion.

To learn more about group and business insurance offerings from Desjardins Insurance and how they can help support a healthy workforce and build inclusive workplaces, visit desjardinslifeinsurance.com.

Advertising feature produced by Globe Content Studio with Desjardins Insurance. The Globe’s editorial department was not involved. Desjardins Insurance refers to Desjardins Financial Security Life Assurance Company.