At first I felt guilty. I was far from home keeping company with a new model. Far away, surrounded by beautiful northern California scenery, soaking up sunshine in Sonoma, I was free from the bonds of work and household obligation. Yes, dear reader – and please forgive the unforgivably cheesy "car as partner" metaphor – I was having a fling with a 2016 Buick Regal.
And it felt good.
Vacations mean many things to many people. For the spiritual, they're a chance for self-discovery and growth. For those with baser instincts, vacations are an opportunity to philander and cheat. For car lovers, vacations are a variation on this theme, they're a chance to rent a flashy luxury ride and drive through undiscovered territory. They're a chance to see what you're missing.
I saw a lot, motoring around in my spiffy Buick. Namely how deep my automotive rut had grown.
For more than 10 years, I've been driving a minivan and, for much of that time, I've thought myself content. I don't think a car defines a person; most people who drive minivans adhere to this philosophy. Those who drive Jaguars, not so much. The minivan, as we all know, is a "functional," "sensible" people-moving machine. My minivan gets me where I'm going and has plenty of room for passengers and cargo. What could be more functional?
Is it fun to drive? No. Is it attractive? No. Is it sexy? Does it have pep? No and No. Do I feel a surge of excitement when I get behind the wheel? No. I feel a surge of suffocating ambivalence, as if someone were injecting my veins with mayonnaise.
Yet I never dared yearn for more. I settled. I made the same rationalizations that other minivan owners stuck in loveless car marriages make. When the kids are grown, that's when I'll get a car I can truly enjoy.
And then, a few weeks ago I found myself picking up the aforementioned four-door 2016 Buick Regal at San Francisco International Airport. I'd been curious about it ever since reading a review in Consumer Reports that dubbed it the "antithesis of the whitewall-tired Buick of old. With its agile handling, quick steering, and a taut, steady ride, the Regal is one of Buick's best offerings."
The car lived up to the hype. It was sleek and had a 2.0-litre turbocharged engine with 259 horsepower and a Haldex all-wheel-drive system. It had a keyless pushbutton ignition and a 4.2-inch colour display that gave me vehicle stats, navigation, audio and phone features. The Regal had "dual-zone automatic climate control" – which means the driver and passenger can each individually calibrate the temperature they prefer.
Unlike my minivan, when I drove the Buick Regal I didn't feel like I was steering an overgrown refrigerator. It cruised. It hugged corners. It was made for leisurely drives along the coast. It understood me in ways my minivan never could. I wasn't alone. My family liked it. No one missed the extra space or the seats that fold down so you can cram more junk into your minivan. We were all enamoured.
Like all holidays, my time with the Regal came to an end. It was with a heavy heart that I dropped off the keys and took the shuttle to the airport terminal. Back in Toronto, I picked up the minivan at Park'N Fly.
It was then I learned a valuable lesson. When you return home from a holiday fling with a Buick Regal, you'll see your old car in a new light and realize that all those flaws and faults are actually qualities. Sure, luxury cars are flashy, sexy and exciting but they can never replace the good old domesticated minivan.
I learned that this is completely untrue.
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Andrew Clark