Nevena Sergo and Bradley Spencer were so content to watch the carnival of life parade by that it took 17 years for them to hop on the marriage-go-round. "People jump, and don't know what they are getting into. Some friends, who are married, have kids and look worn out. Others, married only a few years, are getting divorced. But we've seen it all," Mr. Spencer observes with a laugh. "Life is hard -- jobs, kids, finances."
"I wasn't one of those girls who felt she had to get married right away. We are comfortable with a friendship that has love at its base," explains Ms. Sergo, who adds that, at 39, they are patient, stable and both ready, at last, for marriage and a family.
In 1989, Mr. Spencer, an employee of Wood Gundy, encountered Ms. Sergo, a recent graduate of the University of Western Ontario, when he made security deliveries to her at what was then Canada Trust. Tall, blond and cocksure, he was seduced by her intellect and good looks, but his advances received scant attention until he arrived one day with his arm in a cast. Momentarily disarmed, she signed it and included her number.
When a cavalier Mr. Spencer imperiously decided his break had healed, he cut away the cast and pitched it into the trash, only to scramble to retrieve the pieces -- and her phone number -- later. Shortly thereafter, he called with a lunch invitation, but Bay Street was bustling and Ms. Sergo declined. Ultimately, however, she succumbed to his rakish charm, agreeing to a brief meeting. "He brought me lunch. I thought that was sweet, and I guess that was when I started changing my mind."
Now an associate at TD Asset Management, Ms. Sergo is singular in her career direction, but she acknowledges, "When you work downtown, people are focused on their industry, limited, and don't socialize outside of a certain group. I work in it 12 hours a day, and don't want to come home to it for another eight hours."
Over the years, the free-spirited Mr. Spencer became her counterpoint. He travels, relishing the outdoors, in his work as a geotechnical and environmental driller who extracts samples -- down to bedrock -- for analysis before construction projects can proceed.
He concedes that Ms. Sergo has moulded him, making him "a better person," introducing him to her cultural spheres, including the Royal Ontario Museum and the Art Gallery of Ontario. In turn, he has directed her to some of Toronto's tonier clubs and has introduced her to sailing and snorkelling. "What I do is completely different from what he does," she notes, "so we enjoy spending time together, talking about our days."
As time went by, Ms. Sergo admits, "we were enjoying our lives. We took trips without having a mortgage or any commitments that would require our energy." Yet, the tripwire was sprung in 2003 when they bought a house. As it happened, Mr. Spencer was its sole occupant when Ms. Sergo's mother became ill and the dutiful daughter stayed with her as a caregiver.
By March 12, 2005, Ms. Sergo's mother had rallied and her "old school" father had given his consent. Across a table for two at Avenue, in the Four Seasons Hotel, Mr. Spencer proposed. "I started crying when I looked at her, and she said I didn't have to get down on my knee," he remembers. Minutes later she blinked back tears as sequestered family members spilled forth bearing champagne and flowers.
On April 1, at St. Patrick's Roman Catholic Church in Brampton, Rev. Vitaliano Papais wed the couple. Later, they celebrated with all those significant in their lives at the Royal Ambassador Banquet Hall in Caledon.
Mr. Spencer adamantly espouses: "You get married; you wear the ring!" Planning to sport two bands, he believes his long-awaited marriage is as strong as the tungsten steel ring he'll be wearing while on the job.
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