Where: Leslieville
The horror: As mothers walk along Queen Street East wearing locally designed couture and pushing newborns in Bugaboo strollers, they see their reflection in a full-length mirror.
A ghoulish voice says: "There is a thin line between hipster and yuppie.
"Line over."
The reaction: Terrified screaming and skin melting off face, like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Where: Yorkville
The horror: An inflatable Jeanne Beker hovering out of a pumpkin.
A ghoulish voice says: "You're the 14th microcelebrity to strut past here in the last five minutes wearing green Hunter Wellies and pantyhose."
The reaction: Moans of lamentation, howls of the damned and high-pitched shrieking that shatters the window display across the street at Diesel flagship store.
Where: The Don Valley Brick Works Farmers' Market
The horror: As shoppers get out of their BMW SUVs, the remote-lock feature activates an effigy of Galen Weston Jr., who drops out of a tree holding a box of apples grown in China.
A ghoulish voice says: "Worth switching supermarkets for."
The reaction: Frantic sowing of hemp seeds to act as a carbon sink. Rosedale husbands castigated by their wives for saying, "Hey, these actually taste pretty good."