When Nicky Szobolodi moved in with her boyfriend last year, she thought they might get married - eventually. But when David Naftolin suggested that they start shopping for houses together, she was wary.
"I said, 'Well, we can go look. I'm not going to make any big financial commitments,' " recalls Ms. Szobolodi, a 26-year-old law clerk. After looking at a few houses - and comparing them with the basement apartment they were sharing - she was sold on the idea.
Soon after, the couple fell in love with a two-bedroom brick bungalow in Cedarvale, and put in a winning bid for it.
"We don't do things in the right order," Ms. Szobolodi says. "I wouldn't change it for the world."
Ms. Szobolodi and her boyfriend are part of a growing trend - couples who commit to a mortgage before they tie the knot.
People are waiting until later in life to wed than they did a few decades ago, but they don't want to wait to buy a home, especially with interest rates still relatively low. Once a real estate taboo, mortgage before marriage is rapidly becoming common.
"The young people, instead of putting money toward a huge, extravagant wedding, [are]putting it toward a down payment," said John Meehan, president of the Toronto Real Estate Board, who has seen the trend grow during his 23 years in the business. "I think they're just being logical."
That doesn't mean buying a house with your boyfriend or girlfriend won't raise any eyebrows. Parents still tend to get a little nervous.
Mr. Naftolin's father "was a bit hesitant with us taking such a huge step," Ms. Szobolodi says. "I mean, when we bought a truck together, he was like, 'I think you guys are moving too fast.' "
But the older generation usually comes around when they consider the rapidly rising cost of real estate.
Laura Clemens, a 31-year-old school teacher who is now house-hunting with her boyfriend, says her parents are "happy we're settling in and that we're happy with each other." She gets "the odd joke or the little nudge" from her mother once in a while, "but that may be more about [having]grandchildren. . . . I've been pleasantly surprised."
In the United States, unmarried couples represented less than 1 per cent of home buyers in 1991; by 2005 they'd grown to 7 per cent of the market. No comparable data is available for Canadian home buyers, but statistics show the average marrying age has been getting higher while the average home-buying age has gotten lower. Canadian real estate experts say the trend is noticeable.
"With the interest rates at historic lows, people who have been renting are just finding they're throwing away thousands of dollars a month," says Tracy Quick, who was Ms. Szobolodi's real estate agent. "Boyfriends and girlfriends are almost having to commit a little more emotionally to the relationship because they have to commit financially."
Among her circle of friends, Ms. Clemens says home-buying before marriage is common. "It's totally accepted," she notes, adding that the hardest part is finding a house she and her boyfriend can afford in the Toronto area.
"Reality has set in, and it's a matter of finding a place that has no bugs and is livable," she says. "We're prepared to roll up our sleeves and do some work ourselves."
But unmarried couples who buy a home together need to take extra steps to protect themselves in the event of a breakup, says Frederick Hertz, a lawyer in Oakland, Calif., who co-authored Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples. Mr. Hertz urges unmarried couples to sort out their financial contributions and responsibilities in a formal, legal arrangement before buying property - think of it as a real estate prenuptial agreement.
Most disputes arise because couples contribute unequal amounts, he says. One partner's parents gives them a chunk of money for the down payment, for instance, or one partner puts in much more work renovating the house, and then they squabble over how to split the property when an unforeseen breakup occurs.
Another common problem is that only one person may be named on the title, making it hard for the other, perhaps jilted, partner to stake a claim.
"Having an agreement gives you a chance to address a hard issue in a loving way," Mr. Hertz says, but "it's very hard to convince people they need an agreement. They don't want to think about it."
Mr. Hertz has worked with unmarried couples for almost 20 years, and says buying property outside of marriage has become much more socially acceptable. "Living together is more and more an alternative to marriage rather than a prelude to marriage," he adds.
As for Ms. Szobolodi, her story has an ending even a traditionalist would love. While she and her boyfriend were still house-hunting - in fact, after a day of searching through the multiple-listing service website - they walked to the dog park where they first met, and Mr. Naftolin proposed. They're planning a January wedding.
After all, she says, "I didn't want to get married and come back from my honeymoon to a basement apartment."