As with the slumbering cicada, the prime-time series crossover very rarely awakens.
The notion of merging two series into one TV event is a sure-thing concept that only occurs to network executives every several years, at most, and that's strange indeed, because networks are ravenous for ratings and crossovers are a cheap trick easily accomplished.
The hidden meaning behind this evening's much-hyped hybrid storyline between Third Watch (NBC, CTV, 9 p.m.) and Medical Investigation (NBC, CTV, 10 p.m.) should be fairly apparent: It's about a spry newcomer fighting to survive in the vicious prime-time arena, while maybe giving a boost to a tired old franchise in the process.
The hot rookie is Medical Investigation. Nobody gave the hospital soap much hope last fall, but it has performed surprisingly well for NBC -- one of the few shows they could call a hit this season.
On some weeks, Medical Investigation was Friday night's highest-rated show --until last month, that is, with the arrival of the Numb3rs in the same timeslot. Despite the ridiculous title, CBS's egghead crime-drama has been smacking Medical Investigation in the Nielsen numbers. NBC had to do something, if only to save face.
Enter Third Watch, a generic New Yawk life-on-the-street ensemble drama grinding through its sixth season. This show's shark jumped and did a back flip when producers cast Gerald McRaney as a guest star. Besides which, all the possible combinations of police officers, ambulance attendants and fire fighters have already slept with each other.
The story opens on Third Watch tonight with the arrest of a jewel thief apparently infected with a deadly, highly contagious disease. This prompts the Medical Investigation duo of Conner (Neal McDonough) and Durant (Kelli Williams) to be immediately airlifted to New York, since they work for the National Institutes of Health and seem to have a limitless supply of surgical gloves.
The Medical Investigation stalwarts bring along a crack team of emergency workers, which is rather opportune since that nasty bug soon spreads through the Big Apple. People are writhing in agony and dying on the streets. Cheery for a Friday night.
The second verse is same as the first: The nail biter picks up on Medical Investigation, still set in New York, with a frantic search for the jewel thief's partner, who is also infected and the only person who knows the source of the disease. That's where the story goes off-kilter: Conner should probably be treating those victims flooding into the hospital, but he inexplicably takes to the streets for the man hunt with Third Watch cop Faith (Molly Price). He's a hero, we get it.
It's a commendable effort but the panic-in-the-streets premise comes off as a watered-down version of 24. The bleak expanded story draws to its predictable TV conclusion with enough elements of familiarity to pull in the fans.
For regular viewers of both shows, the thrill of the Third Watch-Medical Investigation storyline, or any crossover episode, is the chance to see the characters interact, as if they really know each other. I suppose it all depends on your idea of a good time.
NBC has also been giving substantial promotion to this weekend's retro-special Saturday Night Live: The First Five Years (Sunday, 9 p.m.).
The program has new interviews with creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels and founding cast members Dan Aykroyd, Laraine Newman, Chevy Chase and Garrett Morris. Also interviewed are recurring hosts Elliott Gould, Candice Bergen and Buck Henry. Of course, everyone has their own warm and fuzzy recollections of those early days, and of the perils of doing live television. What else are they going to say?
And while it's nice to hear everyone's revisionist recollections about John Belushi, there are also memorable musical performances from those first few seasons. There are very cool early-day clips of The Rolling Stones, Patti Smith, Blondie and, best of all, Elvis Costello.
In his now-infamous 1977 SNL appearance, Costello was specifically instructed by show producers not to play the controversial song Radio, Radio, but he did so anyway. He wasn't invited back for 13 years, though that was SNL's loss.
The special's best moments come in those archived musical performances. It's a reminder of the time when Saturday Night Live was television's principal showcase for new music -- long before Ashlee Simpson ever came into this world.
John Doyle returns on Monday.
RYAN'S QUICK PICKS
SATURDAY
EVERYTHING HEF
Statuesque Star! mainstay Larysa Harapyn travels to the L.A. Playboy Mansion for an interview with legendary swinger Hugh Hefner. Ever the sport, Ms. Harapyn even agrees to a lingerie photo shoot. Hubba hubba.
Star!, 8 p.m.
SUNDAY
THE EAST COAST
MUSIC AWARDS
Country star George Canyon, above, hosts the annual event, broadcast live from Sydney, N.S. The two-hour ceremony is scheduled to include a tribute to venerable Maritime songstress Rita MacNeil.
CBC, 8 p.m.
TUESDAY
ONE DAY AT A TIME REUNION
A TV tribute to the treacly Seventies sitcom, with original cast members Bonnie Franklin, Valerie Bertinelli, Mackenzie Phillips and Pat Harrington reuniting to talk about the good old days -- when they were still working.
CBS, 9 p.m.