Unzip your parka, don your thong. Summer, or at least the Hollywood version, is officially here. This weekend's release of xXx: State of the Union, a franchise action flick whose characters have surnames like Stone and Steele, is one sure sign of the hot-weather season. The period of blockbuster action films and comedies, the summer stretch that runs from now to Labour Day, is only a third of the year. But it accounts for more than 40 per cent of the box office. This year's harvest includes three distinct trends.
The three biggest movies are about battles of civilizations: Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven revisits the Crusades; George Lucas wraps up the mighty Star Wars series with Star Wars: Episode 3 -- Revenge of the Sith; and Steven Spielberg updates H. G. Wells's science-fiction classic, War of the Worlds.
Three other movies are remakes of vintage television series, from the fifties ( The Honeymooners), the sixties ( Bewitched) and the seventies ( The Dukes of Hazzard).
Finally, this year marks the return of some of Hollywood's best-known directors returning to blockbusters, after detouring to more offbeat and less remunerative fare. Ridley Scott's last movie was the low-key Matchstick Men. Kingdom of Heaven returns to the sword-swinging epic that worked for him with Gladiator. Last year, Spielberg gave us the ho-hum The Terminal. This year his War of the Worlds is a return to an extraterrestrial theme that was behind two of his early hits ( E.T. and Close Encounters of the Third Kind). Tim Burton, after the fable of Big Fish, returns to large-scale children's entertainment with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
The big hitters are coming up to bat at a time when they're badly needed. Spring has been dismal for Hollywood releases. Only Will Smith's Hitch topped $100-million (all figures in U.S. dollars). Last year, receipts were down, with only 11 movies topping the $100-million blockbuster mark, down from 17 the year before. U.S. and Canadian ticket sales last summer declined for the second consecutive year to $637.4-million, according to box-office tracker Exhibitor Relations Co.
The Hollywood answer? More movies that go boom. International audiences now account for 62 per cent of ticket sales (up from 50 per cent just two years ago), and in foreign markets, action speaks louder than words. If you make enough movies where things explode, maybe some of them can break box office records.
Here are some of the more prominent of this summer's movies. Dates are subject to change.
May 6
Kingdom of Heaven: Director Ridley Scott returns to the historical epic with a film starring Orlando Bloom as a man who joins the 12th-century Crusades and fights against fanatical Christians and Muslims alike. (So what was he doing in the Crusades?) Liam Neeson also stars. Muslim scholars have said the script has historical inaccuracies.
Prediction: Probably better than Troy and Alexander.
House of Wax: Passing through a small town on the way to a football game, a group of college kids enters a village where bad things happen. Not a remake of the 1953 Vincent Price classic, this is more in line with 2003's The T exas Chainsaw Massacre -- a basic stalk-and-kill horror movie with a sadistic edge.
Prediction: Audiences will cheer when Paris Hilton's character gets killed.
Crash: From Paul Haggis, the screenwriter of Million Dollar Baby, comes this multicharacter tale of racial tensions and chains of consequence in contemporary Los Angeles. Don Cheadle plays a police detective who's encouraged to compromise his ethics. The ensemble cast includes Matt Dillon and Sandra Bullock. Haggis also directs.
Prediction: Not as groundbreaking as Magnolia, but a solid ensemble piece with a message.
Jiminy Glick in La La Wood: Martin Short plays the dumpy entertainment reporter from his television series on assignment at the Toronto International Film Festival.
Prediction: Occasionally crude and mostly silly.
Mysterious Skin: Director Gregg Araki's adaptation of a novel about a gay hustler and his small-town friend who share a common memory of an alien abduction.
Prediction: Well-received at the Toronto International Film Festival and Sundance, this is regarded as one of the veteran independent film director's most sensitive and intelligent films.
May 13
Kicking & Screaming: Will Ferrell stars as a milquetoast who becomes an overbearing kids' soccer coach.
Prediction: There's a lot of broad mugging in the trailer, and the trailer seems to encompass most of the plot.
Monster-in-Law : In a variation on Meet the Parents, Jennifer Lopez meets her fiancé's wicked witch of a mother, played by Jane Fonda in her first screen appearance in 15 years. Directed by Legally Blonde's Robert Luketic.
Prediction: Slight, but Fonda as a battle-axe cutting J. Lo down to size could be interesting.
Unleashed: Luc Besson wrote the script for this movie in which Jet Li plays an enslaved fighter who is raised as a dog by a cruel boss (Bob Hoskins). He subsequently encounters the kindness of a blind piano tuner, played by Morgan Freeman.
Prediction: Preposterous, but early reviews are high on the action sequences, and you have to like the cast.
May 19
Star Wars: Episode 3 -- Revenge of the Sith: Here it is -- the final episode of George Lucas's six-part space saga. As the story starts, the Clone War continues and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) comes into conflict with Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor). The first five films have grossed more than $3-billion worldwide. Prediction: Abraham Lincoln said it best: "People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like."
May 27
Madagascar: A lion, zebra, giraffe and hippo that have always lived the easy life in a New York zoo find themselves in Madagascar. Voice talent includes Ben Stiller and Chris Rock.
Prediction: More wisecracking animals voiced by comedians. DreamWorks is saying this is the next Shrek, but it could be just another Shark Tale.
The Longest Yard: Adam Sandler and Chris Rock (yes, again) star in the remake of the 1974 comedy about a football game held inside a prison. Burt Reynolds, from the original film, has a part.
Prediction: Sandler as a former NFL quarterback -- what more do you need to know?
Mindhunters : Renny Harlin directs this horror thriller about a group of FBI profiler trainees trying to figure out who among them is a serial killer. Christian Slater and Val Kilmer star.
Prediction: Advance reviews indicate it isn't nearly as bad as you'd expect for a movie that Dimension Films has kept delaying for two years.
June 3
Cinderella Man: Directed by Ron Howard, the movie is a biography of Depression-era boxer Jim Braddock (Russell Crowe) who struggles to keep his family together, and has a chance to face the mighty Max Baer (the real-life dad of Jethro on TV's The Beverly Hillbillies.) The cast includes Renée Zellweger.
Prediction: The emphasis on Braddock as a hero to the downtrodden sounds suspiciously like a Seabiscuit who can deliver an uppercut.
Lords of Dogtown: The dramatic adaptation of Stacy Peralta's documentary about a group of seventies skateboard innovators, Dogtown and Z-Boys. Stars Heath Ledger directed by Catherine Hardwicke ( Thirteen).
Prediction: This should be decent if it captures a fraction of the rebel spirit and adrenaline of Peralta's documentary.
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants: A coming-of-age story about four girls who make a pact to stay connected by passing around a pair of thrift-store jeans that fits each of them perfectly.
Prediction: A memorable title, but when have you seen a movie about the bond between four girls growing into womanhood that was interesting -- since Little Women anyway?
June 10
Mr. and Mrs. Smith: Doug Liman ( Swingers, The Bourne Identity) directs Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in this action film about married assassins who are hired to kill each other.
Prediction: Brad and Angelina doing sophisticated banter, maybe not; but Liman has a knack for action with comedy that could make this work.
The Adventures of Sharkboy & Lava Girl in 3D: Director Robert Rodriguez's new children's film is an original story about a 10-year-old misfit and his two imaginary superhero friends.
Prediction: From the guy who did Spy Kids, so yes, of course.
The Honeymooners: In this remake of the classic fifties sitcom, Cedric the Entertainer is Ralph Kramden, Mike Epps is Ed Norton, Regina Hall is Trixie and Gabrielle Union is Alice. The plot concerns Ralph's constant get-rich schemes and ownership of a greyhound.
Prediction: If the sight gags and slapstick in the trailer are any indication, Jackie Gleason's reputation is in no danger of being eclipsed.
June 17
Batman Begins: Directed by Christopher Nolan, with Christian Bale and Michael Caine, this is a prequel to the Batman series. Nolan is best known for Memento.
Prediction: The choice of Nolan and Bale promises a welcome return to Batman's sinister roots after the overblown spectacle of the last couple of movies in the series.
The Perfect Man: Hilary Duff invents a secret admirer for her recently divorced mom (Heather Locklear) to boost her self-esteem. Chris Noth plays a friend's uncle who provides advice, making this seem entirely like a product of television celebrity.
Prediction: A fine sleepover video choice for you and your girlfriends.
June 24
Bewitched: In a loose adaptation of the 1960s TV show, Will Ferrell plays an actor who wants to remake the original series and hire an unknown in the lead role opposite himself as Darrin. The unknown actress (Nicole Kidman) turns out to be a genuine nose-twitching witch.
Prediction: This looks like more Ferrell than Kidman. Let's hope director Nora Ephron ( Sleepless in Seattle) has some fun with the sexual politics of the original show.
Herbi e -- Ful ly Loaded: Lindsay Lohan revs up the white Volkswagen from Disney's distant past and enters a NASCAR race.
Prediction: The kiddies won't know what a Volkswagen Bug is but will appreciate a car that acts like a dog.
July 1
War of the Worlds: H. G. Wells's science-fiction novel, adapted for the screen with the biggest movie budget in history ($200-million), directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Tom Cruise, and Dakota Fanning as his daughter. Tim Robbins and Miranda Otto also star.
Prediction: Spielberg is at his best blending the domestic and ordinary with the extraordinary, and the premise -- one family's part in the fight to save humanity -- sounds perfect for him.
July 8
Fantastic Four: The movie is based on the long-running Stan Lee/Jack Kirby comic about astronauts who develop superpowers after being exposed to cosmic rays, and use them to fight their arch-enemy, Dr. Victor Von Doom. They include the elastic Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, the Human Torch and the Thing.
Prediction: Sounds like a cross between X-Men and The Incredibles, except for the troubling director's credit to Tim Story, who was most recently responsible for the woeful Jimmy Fallon/Queen Latifah vehicle, Taxi.
Dark Water: Here's another remake of a film by Japan's Hideo Nakata ( The Ring), starring Jennifer Connelly and directed by Walter Salles ( The Motorcycle Diaries). A mother and daughter rent a dilapidated brownstone, and discover they are dealing with old demons.
Prediction: The trailer makes this look formulaic -- competently delivered chills without exactly forming icicles in the heart.
July 15
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Tim Burton directs, based on Roald Dahl's novel about the little boy, Charlie ( Finding Neverland's Freddie Highmore), who lives in the shadow of the chocolate factory until he wins a contest. Charlie and four other children are given a tour of the magnificent factory by its eccentric owner, Willy Wonka (Johnny Depp).
Prediction: Burton and Dahl were meant for each other.
The Wedding Crashers: Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn play divorce lawyers who crash weddings to pick up women, until they fall for the same gal (Rachel McAdams).
Prediction: The neo-Rat Pack of Wilson, Vaughan and Stiller can get gratingly smug and fairly lazy with the semi-improvised shtick, but we'll give it a chance because of the poise and smarts of McAdams ( Mean Girls, Th e Notebook).
July 22
The Island: In a future community, Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson discover they might be clones raised for spare parts for their human originals, and resolve to escape from the facility where they are kept as livestock. Michael Bay directs.
Prediction: Reportedly Johansson runs in a tight white suit, but the combination of Bay, the world's speediest director ( Armageddon, Pearl Harbor) and any kind of chase scenes means airsickness bags are in order.
The Bad News Bears: A lot of talent is concentrated on a mysteriously negligible cause here. Richard Linklater directs, with Billy Bob Thornton in the original Walter Matthau role as a dissolute coach to a team of misfit kids. Academy Award-winning actress Marcia Gay Harden is also in the cast.
Prediction: May fit the pattern of Thornton's last outing in Bad Santa: Fifteen per cent of the audience will declare it hilarious; an equal proportion will call for a public enquiry.
July 29
Stealth: Director Rob Cohen ( The Fast and the Furious) oversees this tale of pilots (Josh Lucas, Jamie Foxx) trying to stop their artificial-intelligence bomber from attacking the United States.
Prediction: It's always welcome to see any kind of intelligence, even the artificial kind, in a military action movie.
The Brothers Grimm: Terry Gilliam directs this historical fiction about the Grimm boys (Matt Damon and Heath Ledger) which has them not just as 19th-century fairytale collectors but fakes who pretend to rid towns of sorcery, until they encounter an actual sorceress.
Prediction: Where Terry Gilliam goes we follow. The results can't be less than intriguing.
Must Love Dogs: Diane Lane plays a lonely divorced woman who takes out a want ad to find a mate. Then she's torn between Dermot Mulroney and John Cusack.
Prediction: Seems to lack fundamental credibility but it could be saved by a cameo from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's Carson Kressley.
Aug. 5
The Pink Panther: A prequel to the original Pink Panther movie, in which Inspector Clouseau (Steve Martin) investigates the death of a soccer coach while trying to recover a famous diamond known as the Pink Panther. Kevin Kline, Beyoncé Knowles, Emily Mortimer and Jean Reno also star.
Prediction: It's foolhardy to walk in Peter Sellers's footsteps; the best advice is to have no hopes and therefore no disappointments. Who knows? Steve Martin and Kevin Kline could spark.
Saraband: Ingmar Bergman's follow-up to Scenes From a Marriage focuses on Marianne (Liv Ullmann), and was originally shot for Swedish television. Thirty years after divorcing Johan (Erland Josephson), Marianne decides to visit him at his summer home, and arrives in the middle of a family crisis.
Prediction: Bleak, tortured, despairing -- obviously, a must-see.
The Dukes of Hazzard: Features Johnny Knoxville as Luke, Seann William Scott as Bo, Jessica Simpson as their sexy cousin Daisy and Willie Nelson as their Uncle Jesse as they whoop it up, and outwit the authorities.
Prediction: Bleak, tortured, despairing -- and that's just the audience. Optimistically, it has to surpass the quality of the original television series, doesn't it?
Aug. 12
The Skeleton Key: Kate Hudson plays a caregiver to an elderly couple (Gena Rowlands and John Hurt) in a New Orleans mansion. She discovers a skeleton key that opens an attic door and a whole lot of trouble in this ghost story directed Iain Softley.
Prediction: Softley ( Backbeat, The Wings of the Dove) is a skilled director, though screenwriter Ehren Kruger ( The Ring, Scream 3) suggests a certain spirit of commercial hackdom.
Aug. 19
Valiant: An animated feature set during the Second World War, Valiant (voiced by Ewan McGregor) is a feisty bird who leads the Royal Homing Pigeon Service, delivering messages across the Channel and avoiding the Nazi falcon brigade. Ricky Gervais (the British version of The Office) is also in the cast. The production, which is overseen by Shrek's John H. Williams, has already opened in Britain, where reviews of the "mildly endearing" tone have prevailed.
Prediction: Few statues will appreciate this movie but children might.
CORRECTION
The movie War of the Worlds, starring Tom Cruise and directed by Stephen Spielberg, opens on June 29. Incorrect information appeared in the article Summer Films in the Review section on April 30.
Liam Lacey