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stars and dogs

TKO Group Holdings Inc. (STAR)


Business quiz! Shares of TKO Group Holdings Inc., owner of mixed martial arts franchise UFC and wrestling powerhouse WWE, rose after the company a) announced the launch of the Ultimate Tickling Championships, in which contestants poke and squeeze each other’s armpits and midsections until one says, “Stop! No, seriously, STOP! It’s not funny!”; b) signed Justin Trudeau and Pierre Poilievre to a pay-per-view cage match on Parliament Hill to decide who will be the next prime minister; c) announced a 10-year, US$5-billion deal to air WWE programs, including Raw and Smackdown, on Netflix starting next year, marking the streaming giant’s first major foray into live sports. Answer: c.

Netflix (STAR)

NFLX - Nasdaq

If your neighbour’s lawn is full of weeds and you never see any activity at the house, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s dead. He could just be watching a lot of Netflix. Shares of the streaming company soared to a two-year high after it added 13.12 million subscribers in the fourth quarter, crushing analysts’ estimates and boosting its worldwide membership to 260.8 million. With quarterly revenue jumping 12 per cent year-over-year to US$8.83-billion thanks to price increases, a crackdown on password sharing and hit programs such as the final season of The Crown, Netflix’s stock price is growing faster than the weeds on your neighbour’s lawn. Better check on him, just in case.

BlackBerry Ltd. (DOG)


The best advice I could give long-term BlackBerry Ltd. investors? Don’t give up. Yes, it’s been more than 15 years since shares of the company – then named Research in Motion – touched a record high and its devices were must-have accessories for politicians, business people and celebrities. And yes, the stock has plunged about 97 per cent since then – including a drop this week to a more than 20-year low after the company announced a private offering of US$175-million of convertible senior notes. But if you want to succeed as an investor, you can’t make rash decisions. Remember, even though you’ve lost your shirt and have no clue what BlackBerry does any more – something about cybersecurity and vehicle software – nobody ever won anything by quitting.

3M Co. (DOG)


With its vast operations that churn out everything from adhesives and dental implants to those stupid felt pads that never seem to stick to the legs of your chair, 3M Co. is often said to be a proxy for the overall economy. And that can’t be good news, judging by the industrial conglomerate’s latest results. The shares tumbled after the company forecast full-year earnings below Wall Street’s estimates amid higher interest rates and inflation, which have cooled demand for its products, including materials used to make displays for TVs, smartphones and tablets. With the stock down about 15 per cent in the past year, 3M investors are miserable, mad and melancholy.

Tesla Inc. (DOG)

TSLA - Nasdaq

For Elon Musk, 2024 is already shaping up as an annus horribilis. The Wall Street Journal reported this month, citing unnamed sources, that Mr. Musk had taken hard drugs including cocaine, LSD, ecstasy and magic mushrooms, further stoking concerns about his erratic behaviour. Turning up the pressure on the potty-mouthed billionaire and conspiracy theorist, shares of Tesla Inc. extended their losses this week after fourth-quarter results missed expectations and Mr. Musk warned of “notably lower growth” amid ongoing price cuts and preparations for a next-generation vehicle in 2025. With more than a dozen brokerages slashing their price targets after the earnings call, which one analyst described as a “train wreck,” Tesla investors could use some drugs to calm their frazzled nerves.

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Tickers mentioned in this story

Study and track financial data on any traded entity: click to open the full quote page. Data updated as of 22/04/24 4:00pm EDT.

SymbolName% changeLast
Tesla Inc
3M Company
Blackberry Ltd
Netflix Inc
Tko Group Holdings Inc Cl A

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