World o' deceivers
In China, a mynah bird in a Nanjing shop has learned to deal with his noisy neighbours - two talkative parrots in the cage next door, the Yangtze Evening Post reports. Annoyed by the yakking newcomers, the mynah jumped and fretted until it noticed the parrots were shutting up when a neighbouring cat meowed. The mynah learned to imitate the cat, and now silences the parrots many times a day.
A new camouflage called Optifade that claims to make hunters invisible to deer will be marketed this fall, The New York Times reports. It is promoted as the first scientifically designed camouflage for deceiving deer. Decades of research into ungulate vision - in general, a deer has 20/40 vision, red-green colour blindness, a 270-degree field of vision, difficulty seeing orange but greater sensitivity to light at the blue end of the spectrum - is used
to create computer-generated
patterns.
Is that mildew, darling?
Christopher Brosius creates perfumes that are not for everyone, Jessica Gallucci of the online magazine More Intelligent Life reports, with scents such as Wet Pavement or In the Library. Owner of the small New York shop CB I Hate Perfume Gallery, Mr. Brosius believes that "great fragrances are unimposing and genderless, and they should harmonize with a person's natural odour," Ms. Gallucci writes. His customers have varied and specific tastes. "A client once told Christopher how she loved the scent that wafted from her summer home's air conditioner after it had been out of use all winter. After some experimenting, Christopher hit upon what the woman found so appealing: mildew. Now that scent lends a fusty bite to his otherwise bright-smelling Locker-room accord [single-note scent]"
The Oliver Twist diet
"The Dickensian delights of the Victorian workhouse, immortalized in the moment when a starving Oliver Twist dares to ask for some more watery gruel, are being brought to Britons hit by the credit crunch," Jonathan Owen writes in The Independent on Sunday. "For the first time in more than 100 years, the Manual of Workhouse Cookery is being republished next month. The cookbook, part of a wider book looking at the food 'enjoyed' by the poorest people in Victorian Britain, extols the virtues of frugality - making every single ingredient count. It includes a recipe for gruel - a watery porridge consisting of oatmeal, treacle, water and salt. ... The renewed interest in workhouse cooking is a part of a wider trend for people to cut back on their food bills."
Lexicon for foodies
Last winter, Oliver Pritchett of The Sunday Telegraph offered a lexicon for foodies, "how to bluff your way round restaurant menus, TV chefs and dinner parties," including:
Authentic: A warning there may be hygiene issues.
Bonne femme: Menu expression meaning, "You will enjoy this, but you must be really
hungry."
Delicacy: Very small portion.
Gourmet: Alerts you to the probability you are going to get a piece of sun-dried tomato with your burger.
Jus: Gastropub gravy.
Mmmmm: Could signify you have just lost a filling or crown in the baguette you are eating. More likely to mean you can't think of anything to say about what you have just been given to taste.
New wave: The chef has a blowtorch.
Protégé: A cook who was taught to chuck pans by a famous chef.
Advice on white lies
Body-language expert Judi James told readers of The Daily Express last year how to bluff their way out of common situations, including:
The disappointing gift. "Pick it up, squeeze or shake it and say: 'It's not, is it?' When you open it, yell out: 'Oh, my God, it is!' ... Never say: 'Where did you get it?' They'll know you're planning to take it back."
Telling a friend their stage performance was wonderful. "This is what the theatrical air-kiss was invented for. By placing your face alongside theirs you render your expression invisible. When you meet them afterward, throw your arms out in the offer of a hug and shake your head slowly. Say: 'I'm speechless.' "
Does my bum look big in this? "When a friend asks this, say: 'Of course. It's enormous.' But don't sound sympathetic. Go for cynical instead. Look as though she's being ridiculous for even suggesting it."
Bluffing a music geek
"Ever been smacked down by a friend with an encyclopedic knowledge of music? You can fight back without really having a clue," David Thorpe writes in Wired magazine:
Adopt obscure tastes. So obscure they're non-existent. Tell your friend you're a big fan of the Egyptologists or some other made-up group.
Answer questions with questions. "I think I've heard of Flop. Who was their manager?" Checkmate. He likely doesn't know.
Use the magic words. To
describe bands you know nothing about, you need only two adjectives: "overrated" and "underrated."
Thought du jour
"Jack Sprat could eat no fat,/ His wife could eat no lean. A real sweet pair of neurotics."
- Jack Sharkey